The Scarlet Letter

If you didn't know, I am the organizer of a (dare I say it) very successful and ongoing book club here in South Florida.  We've been going strong for well over four years and I can boast we are, I think, the only co-ed book club that has lasted this long and has a great turnout at the monthly meetups.  My membership consists of young, old, moms, dads, professionals, blue collars, professors, students, priests, pastors, atheists, gay, straight, you name it.  We are a very diverse group brought together by our love of books, ideas, and hearty discussions over a few glasses of wine.  In a nutshell, I love my Book Club.




I got this letter from a "new member" today responding to my request that they pay their dues.  Names have been changed to protect my sanity:

Hi Alessia, please withdraw my membership.

This book club is starting with probably the most harmful and anti-democratic novel of our time. Ayn Rand is not a thinker, she is a polemicist, and her message is pro capitalism, pro rich people, anti Union, anti helping people, and is in keeping with the sick philosophy of the Tea Party and the evil Koch Brothers' attempt to have our democracy controlled by non-tax-paying billionaires.

I thought that since I met you at the Broward County Atheists, we would not be doing the kind of sick books that have influenced such numb-skulls as Ronald Reagan, Mitt Romney, George W. Bush, Grover Norcross, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and other sick right wingnuts. Those right-wing Republicans would lead us back to the "golden age" that preceded and caused the Great Depression, a time when banks and rich people controlled everything, and common people controlled nothing.

My joining your club was a mistake. I shudder to think I might be associated with such political thinking.

(Name deleted)


Let me just start off by saying that this is proof positive for all Christians out there that not all atheists are the same.  This one is clearly a dolt.  While I, on the other hand, am awesome. Let this letter dispel any notions the theist world had that all atheists think and act the same.  Clearly, we are only similar in that we don't believe in the supernatural.  That's it.  Anything else, is fair game.

So, I was a bit taken aback by such harsh words coming from a supposedly intelligent person, whom I have actually met and spoken with many times at length.  And maybe it was because I spent 2.5 hours this morning cleaning out the kids' playroom and my back was screaming at me in pain, but I simply did not let this go unanswered.  So here is my response:

Wow (name deleted), what a misinformed, judgmental asshole you are.

First and foremost, my book club is not "starting" with Atlas Shrugged. My book club, Ex Libris, has been going strong for over FOUR years now with a dedicated and intelligent group of men and women who bring incredible thought provoking discussion to our monthly meetups. If you had bothered to take the time and read about the club, you would have found our extensive list of past books we have read. Instead, like most of the idiots you listed in your senile diatribe, you chose to make sweeping generalizations based on NO information.

Secondly, a MAJORITY of Ex Libris members are freethinkers and progressives and we collectively chose this book because of its negative history. We, as intelligent, rational human beings, wanted to read this drivel (because I've discovered, since reading it, that is is drivel) BECAUSE of its history. Are you clearly so ignorant that you would think only a certain type of thinker should read a certain type of book? I've read Mein Kampf. Does that make me a Nazi? I've read the Bible. Does that make me a Christian? Better yet, I've read Harry Potter. Why can't I cast spells yet?

Your ad hominem attacks against Ex Libris, myself, and my members are extremely ignorant on your part. It seems like you've been too exposed to the right-wing nutjobbery...you're becoming "one of them".

You can withdraw yourself from Ex Libris, because, if you claim you have such superior intellect, you can certainly figure out how to click the button to do so.

Cheers!
Alessia L.
Organizer, Ex Libris


I would have liked to throw in a few "fuck you's" here and there but I was trying to keep some sort of decorum.  But then again, the idiot was claiming I had no brains and loved the Tea Party, so maybe I should have said something about "Amurika is Jeeezis cuntry" and that would have sufficed.

In any event, if you're interested in checking out Ex Libris, by all means visit us here: Ex Libris: A Book Club With Brains.  If you click on the "Pages" tab, you'll see FOUR YEARS worth of books we  have read as well as what is coming up.

Now I'm going to go watch Fox News and fantasize about Bill O'Reilly since I seem to love them so much.

UPDATE: He wrote me again, tried to chastise me like he was my father, then tried to school me on "how to properly read books" and then played the "I'm 74 years old missy" card on me. He has been removed and banned from the meetup.

I'm not Racist.....The Saga Continues

I'd like to think that I am not writing these blogs to myself, and that I actually have a miniscule reader following out there. With that being said, readers you may remember a post I wrote way back in November of 2007 called I'm Not Racist which expanded on my theory that the phrase I'm Not Racist, when uttered by ANY person, is usually followed by something completely and utterly racist indeed. If you don't remember reading it, or want to refresh yourself of how funny I am, I urge you to read the original blog post HERE before reading on in this new one.

Ok, done? Good.

Well, it happened again today. Sure, it happens all the time but I was never really inspired to write down everytime someone acted like a racist asshat, because:
A) I would be blogging every 10 minutes
B) It would stop being funny after the first 5
C) I don't get paid for keeping track of asshats, racist or not

Anyhow, I get a phone call today from my next door neighbor, Blondie (not her real name) who is in an absolute panic. Backstory on Blondie: pushing 50, tries to look 20, daisy dukes, bottle blonde, more make-up than Tammy Faye (dead or alive), talks like a mouse, and is so dumb that she makes Sarah Palin look like Albert Einstein in a $15,000 outfit. Seriously, this woman is dumb with a capital DUMB.
So she calls me this morning and says, "Alessia are you home" (First indication of her intelligence since she's called my HOUSE and asks me if I'm home. duuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh) So I tell her that I am indeed home and what can I do for her. What follows is pretty much the actual conversation we had:
Blondie: Alessia are you home?
Alessia: Yes I am, what's wrong.
B: Do you see what's going on outside?
A: What do you mean? Across the street?
B: Yes! I am freaking out! I am so scared! What are they doing?!
A: Well B, it looks like a few guys set up a table in their front lawn and are playing dominoes.
B: I know but who does that?
A: Um......ok, lots of people? It's gorgeous out today.
B: Look, I'm Not Racist but when I see a bunch of black guys outside like that I am scared that gangs are going to show up.
A: B, they're just hanging out. I don't even see any of them drinking or smoking anything and they're not even being loud.
B: But there were so many of them this morning! And all these different cars were there and now they're just sitting there.
A: Well my only concern is why the teenager isn't in school, but it's probably because it's spring break for them.
B: But what if they start shooting? I mean I have Sara (her Rottweiler) here that I've trained to attack them, but what about you and Dante? What if they try and break into your house and rape you?
A: B, are you serious?
B: I'm sorry. I'm Not Racist but it's always those people that start problems! White people don't do this sort of thing! I mean, who does things like this!
A: You mean, play dominoes?
B: Oh, and what about the one next door who just sits on his porch and watches all day! I thought he was disabled so I felt sorry for him, but he's NOT and I always see him hiding things in the grass. I bet it's crack!
A: Um.....actually B, he's a nice guy. His son plays with Dante.
B: Well, you just better be careful.
A: Well I appreciate the call, I'll keep an eye out.
B: Lock your doors!
A: Bye now.


Really. Really? No, Really? Did I just set foot in the Idiot Twilight Zone? Is she fucking kidding me with that bullshit? Freaking out because a bunch of dudes, who happen to be black, decided to set up a card table under a shady palm and play dominoes on what is probably the LAST cool day we have here in Florida before the summer sets in. And then to preface half her comments with the aforementioned I'm Not Racist junk! Seriously. Seriously!!!!! You would have thought The Rapture (Hi Krissy) was coming and that she had suddenly sinned and couldn't take it back. That was the tone of her voice. She was seriously panicked because of a dominoes game that was going to lead to shoot-outs and gang warfare akin to the movie Colors and a Tupak/Biggie rivalry thing.

So once again, my theory of I'm Not Racist has not been disproven. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Say Wha? V 2.0

Here are a couple of quick facts regarding the presidential/vice presidential race. Mind you, these are FACTS. Not something the left-wing media has cooked up to make one candidate outshine another, but actual written evidentiary proof of information. I've highlighted key points.

Sarah Palin's education history: Palin attended Hawaii Pacific College in Hilo, Hawaii, in 1982 for a semester, where she majored in Business Administration, and transferred in 1983 to North Idaho College for the 1983-1984 school year. After winning a scholarship, she transferred to Matanuska-Susitna College in Alaska for one term before transferring back to the University of Idaho the following year where she finished out her college education and received a Bachelor of Science degree in communications-journalism from the University of Idaho in 1987, where she also minored in political science.

Outstanding Achievements:
In 1988, she worked as a sports reporter for KTUU-TV and KTVA-TV in Anchorage, Alaska and for the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman as a sports reporter.She also helped in her husband’scommercial fishing family business.

She ran for Wasilla city council in 1992, at age 28, against John Hartrick, a local telephone company worker, on a promise to bring "my progressive, competitive attitude" to the government.She won 530 votes to John Hartrick’s 310.On the council, she successfully opposed a measure to curtail the hours at Wasilla's bars by two hours.

During her first legislative session, Governor Palin’s administration passed two major pieces of legislation – an overhaul of the state’s ethics laws and a competitive process to construct a gas pipeline.

Governor Palin is chair of the Interstate Oil and Gas Compact Commission, a multi-state government agency that promotes the conservation and efficient recovery of domestic oil and natural gas resources while protecting health, safety and the environment. She was recently named chair of the National Governors Association (NGA) Natural Resources Committee, which is charged with pursuing legislation to ensure state needs are considered as federal policy is formulated in the areas of agriculture, energy, environmental protection and natural resource management. Prior to being named to this position, she served as co-chair of this committee.

Prior to her election as governor, Palin served two terms on the Wasilla City Council and two terms as the mayor/manager of Wasilla. During her tenure, she reduced property tax levels while increasing services and made Wasilla a business friendly environment, drawing in new industry.

Prior to taking office, Palin served on numerous boards and commissions throughout the state. She was active in her family’s pursuits – including serving as a sports team mom and school volunteer. She also runs marathons.

source:http://gov.state.ak.us/bio.html


Joe Biden's education history: In 1961, Biden graduated from Archmere Academy in Claymont, Delaware and, in 1965, from the University of Delaware in Newark where he double-majored in and political science. He went on to receive his J.D. from Syracuse University College of Law in 1968, and was admitted to the Delaware Bar in 1969.

Outstanding Achievements:

During Biden's 34 years in the senate, he's been recognized as a leader in foreign policy, as well as one of the nation's most influential voices on terrorism, drug policy, and crime.

Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee
Long-standing member and former Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee
Co-Chairman of the International Narcotics Control Caucus

He served an instrumental role in passing the bipartisan initiative to create a Commission on Civil Rights in 1983, to introducing the 1986 Global Climate Protection Act, to establishing an annual National Mammography Awareness Day, and to authoring the Rail Security Act of 2007 to regulate the transportation of hazardous materials on American railways, Senator Biden consistently works to tackle America's toughest challenges.

Authored the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994
2007 Biden Crime Bill

Recently introduced the College Affordability and Creating Chances for Educational Success for Students (ACCESS) Act

He also authored legislation to help foreign countries address the threats of bioterrorism and nuclear or radiological ("dirty bombs") terrorism. And he sought to expand programs to destroy unsecured weapons of mass destruction and dangerous materials in the former Soviet Union and beyond.

source: http://biden.senate.gov

So I guess my biggest question to the American people is:

WHAT'S TO CHOOSE?!?!?! HOW CAN ANYONE HAVE TROUBLE MAKING A DECISION HERE? ARE YOU A FUCKING MORON?!?!?!?

Publix + Jesus = BFF

Seeing a pattern? If not, please refer to my previous post and then laugh at my hysterical joke. If you don't laugh, well, tough.

Anyhow, here's a little tidbit of information for my mommies out there: Atheist, jewish, catholic, buddhist, rastafari, muslim, great-pumpkinites, whatever. Did you know that Publix is BFF with Jesus? I didn't. And I like Publix. My neighborhood Publix is awesome. The manager, a very dashing Mr. Tom Chiles is one very cool cat and always makes an effort to say hello. Plus, the store is clean and nice and has great food and Dante always gets a cookie from Rhonda at the Bakery. So, I like Publix. Publix is my friend. I like Publix so much that when Dante was born, I joined their Baby Club and got a big childcare book for free (a $20 value) and coupons quarterly for the past two years! Nice eh?

But alas, Publix is BFF with Jesus and I have an issue with that. Not because I'm jealous and want Publix all to myself, but because I have this teensy weensy eensy beensy issue with corporations that do business with faith-based organizations. You see, I'm a firm believer (no pun intended) in that little notion that faith and religion are private matters; issues that should be personal and not shoved into everyone's face. If you love Jesus, good for you! If you think Cabbage should be sacred and prayed to, then go for it! If you believe that we're all aliens from the planet Craputron and that we should all worship a left over tuna sandwich, go right ahead! I'm not here to stop you. What I am here to stop you from doing is reminding me and proselytizing to me about why I should believe what you do and how I am wrong if I do not. Now, when a public corporation gets into cahoots with an organization like this, I get a little icky feeling in my stomach and get cranky. No, it's not the "Angry Atheist" in me that feels this way, rather it's the Human Being that I am that believes that everyone is entitled to a voice, not just those who scream the loudest about being right.

So why do I now think that Publix and Jesus are BFF? Well, since Dante is turning 2 next month, he has now "graduated" to the Publix Preschool Club. We got the paperwork for it the other day and I filled it out and signed him up on their website. It's pretty much the same thing as the Baby Club but the actitivies, newsletters, and coupons are now geared more toward a toddler and older child. I didn't have much time to check out the site the other day so I just signed him up and let it be. Tonight, though, I had time to peruse the website more clearly and in reading some of the activities and guides for parents I noticed a logo advertisement at the end of each article that said MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) and then a website. I clicked the site and THIS is what I got:

MOPS International is a Christian non-profit organization that believes in working with local Christian churches/parachurches to maximize ministry opportunities to God’s Kingdom. MOPS programs are chartered in churches of many different denominations and Christian traditions, but all share the common desire to reach out with the gospel of Jesus Christ and to bring glory to God in everything.

Um, say wha? This is what the Publix Preschool Club is about? Sorry "sisters in Christ" but this "sister" is saying "sayonara" to Publix Preschool Club and kindly telling you to take your faith-based organization and shove it up your glory hole. Catch my drift? What the hell does Jesus have to do with being a mother and raising a preschooler? Why the hell has Publix decided to join up with this group of idiots? What, I have to believe in an imaginary friend or I won't get $1.00 off Huggies Diapers? Give me a break. I'm really disappointed in Publix for aligning themselves with such a close minded, biased organization. And again, I'm not speaking as an Atheist here, I'm speaking as a non-Christian. There are MILLIONS of people who do not believe in the same *ahem* tenets this organization has so gallantly posted on its site, so not only are they excluding mothers who are non-believers, they are excluding all other non-Christian mothers.

So, of course, I cancelled my membership and in the "reasons for cancelling" box I clicked "other" and when asked to explain I did. I simply stated that I did not support faith-based organizations and as a non-Christian I would not be a part of a club whose main contributor was a group that clearly discriminates and excludes those who are different and who believe differently than they do. I also told them that religion and parenting and coupons didn't belong in the same sentence, let alone the same room.

And now I'm pondering writing a letter to Publix. I don't know. I've just got this really bad taste in my mouth from all of it. It's really frustrating sometimes to be a non-Jesus lover because it seems like those who are BFF with Jesus ruin it for the rest of us with their shouting and yelling and butting into everything. I've lost my Publix now too. *sniff*