Birth: One Week Later

So it has been (already) one week since Dorian was born and I'm doing ok, I think. The C-section was an interesting experience to say the least, but were it not for the "cocktail" they gave me that I was allergic to (and consequently threw up from about 5:30pm to 3am the next morning), not a bad experience at all. The nurses and my doctor made the experience so easy despite my fears and the woman who gave me the spinal was AWESOME. I didn't even feel it.

The doctor who assisted my OB during the operation was a kind man who, during the administering of the spinal, stroked my head and told me (in a very strange Indian/Spanish accent) that I was going to be fine and that in a few minutes I'd be seeing my baby. Dr. Selman, my OB, was so wonderful, checking with how I was feeling and the nurses with their encouraging words and smiles made for an unforgettable experience.

As long as I don't get the "cocktail". I'd have no problem doing it again (not saying I would, but you know what I mean.)

A week later, at home, I'm doing ok. My incision KILLS only on one side though. It feels like a hot, burning, on fire, pulling sensation. I asked my doctor what that was and she said it was where they used a "hook" to hold me open and move my bladder and intestines out of the way. I proceeded to tell her TMI!!!!! I don't need to know that! BARF!!!

My feet and ankles are swollen and the lower part of my stomach is still puffy and sore, but honestly, I am doing great. I am slowly remembering what it is like to take care of a baby, remembering the "baby smell" and little baby mannerisms that Dante used to do. And I'm noticing that my oldest, Dante, really is a big boy and not the little baby I always assumed he was. From one day to the next, he went from "my baby" to "my big boy". He's learned how to assist me in changing diapers, making bottles (I am BF'ing as well). He's become quite the helper.

Hubby is doing well too. He's made dinner almost every night after coming home from work and has been a huge help in keeping the house clean and orderly. And, of course, my mom has been a great help as have been the wonderful network of friends I have.

So, a week into this "new mommy for the second time" phase, I can say that I am feeling pretty good. Exhausted, but good.

The Fantastic Four

Dante turned 4 today and instead of celebrating with a big party (too much for big pregnant mommy right now to handle) we took him to his Sibling Class at the hospital in order to prepare him in becoming a big brother in about 9 days.

He enjoyed the class immensely and did a pretty good job with the tasks at hand like answering questions about hygiene, what babies like to do (he answered oh-so-eloquently that "they like to go pee pee and poopy in their diapers"), and showed great promise in feeding and holding the baby.



He may need some work on changing and dressing the baby.


We then had our traditional birthday lunch at Sweet Tomatoes with the family followed by presents and a super cool Transformers cake at Nonna and Nonno's house.

Many gifts involving swords, shields, dragons and knights were experienced along with a visit from Sir Dante of Dania, dragon slayer.




A good day was had by all. I can't believe my baby is 4.

Two's Company, Three's a Brother

For almost four years now, Dante and I have been a team. With the long hours that Randy works and goes to school, Dante and I have been a duo since jump street. When he was a baby, the bond was there but it wasn't as strong as is it now. He couldn't talk, walk, and was just a sleeping, feeding, pooping machine. As the years went on, and he grew and developed, we became "Two" and our bond definitely became stronger and solid. He's not only my son, he's also my partner in crime, my partner in adventures, and the person I spend 98% of my time with on a daily basis. We have conversations about anything and everything, we talk about monsters or dogs or feelings or space, we read together, sit on the couch and do puzzles, go for walks, swim, play, snuggle and fall asleep. Anything and everything, it is always just the two of us.

With the impending arrival of the new baby, my biggest fear is that my relationship with Dante is going to change. I am so worried that this "partnership" that he and I have developed is going to suffer. I know that it's not longer going to be "just the two of us" and it makes me very sad. No, I am not going to hate the new baby or resent it, I just know that the second this baby is born, my relationship with Dante will change forever.

And it breaks my heart.

Are we still going to have our chats? How can we, when I have to get up to nurse or focus my attention on the baby? Are we still going to have our special adventures into the Secret Place? I don't know. Are we ever going to get alone time to have our "dates" at Starbucks? Is he going to drift away from me as he sees me focusing more attention on the new arrival than him?

These are questions that plague me. I remember when I was pregnant with Dante, Randy and I would talk about that we would not longer be "two" and that our world would be "three" from then on. I couldn't fathom it. How was I going to share my affection and time with both? Of course, my feelings for my husband differ greatly than those for my son, but how is it going to be for another child? Is it different? Do you love one more that the other?

How do I not lose this incredible relationship I have with Dante? (Knowing that by the time he's a teenager I'll embarass him just by walking into a room).