Friday, June 23, 2006


*Caution, this post will deal with SEX and dirty things*

You know how I mentioned yesterday about "angry sex" and getting it out of my system that way? Well, I have no idea what happened but Randy came home cranky as hell and horny as hell and we had super duper angry at the world but not eachother sex. I know, I know, Too Much Information, right? But I have to say that it did not take me 20 minutes to roll around! I was almost spry! I was almost lithe! I was almost "normal"! Plus, with my pelvis getting ready to give birth I was AWESOMELY flexible!

Ok but here's the down side. Randy, in his infinte wisdom and amorousness, decides to give me the map of CHINA on my neck. No, not in place where I can easily hide it, but right smack dab on my neck. It's like I'm those trashy heavy metal girls I went to high school, with their feathered hair and their tasselled leather jackets. The worst part of it all is that with the heat and humidity down here lately and the fact that I am 9 months pregnant, my hands and feet are swollen to the point that I cannot wear my wedding rings or any semblance of normal shoes.

So I get to go to the doctor today for my weekly check-up with the midwife. WITH THE MAP OF CHINA on my neck, PREGNANT out to here, and NO WEDDING rings on my hand!!!! Can we say "Look at the whore?" I hate not wearing my wedding rings. Randy's only been to the doc with me a few times (he works when I have the appointments so my mom takes me), so I doubt they remember I actually have a husband, and now I look like SUPER TRAMP (not the band, I like them) 2006!!!!!!

I'm going to go soak my hands in ice water in hopes that I will be able to squuuuuueeeeeeeeze my rings on. I'll still look like a whore, but at least I'll be a married whore!

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