As Opposed to a Living One?

Perusing Newsweek.Com, I came across this article:

Texas police think person lived with dead skeleton on couch

Um, ok. Dead Skeleton. Would there ever be a case that a skeleton is NOT dead?

He Makes Me Tingle

So I have a new crush. Well, it's not really new but I've decided to come out with it and admit it.
Something about MC Serch makes me tingle. Between watching The White Rapper Show and now Miss Rap Supreme (both on VH-1), I have developed this completely immature, school girl crush on him. I loved 3rd Bass back in the day (Give 'em the Gas Face!), but he didn't appeal to me then. Now? I think he's sex-ay in this weird Jewish Rapper kind of way.

Oy Vey he makes me plotz!



Steppin'to the A.M.


The Gas Face


Pop Goes the Weasel

And the Hypocrite award goes to.......

I was wearing the shirt above tonight and a woman spit on me and said that I should believe in god. She spit on me and then stuck her tongue out and did the "thumbs down" at me. I told her "Thank you but I don't believe in imaginary friends. Have a nice evening". She stuck her tongue out at me, gave me the finger, and said "Burn in hell". Mind you, Dante was with me. My baby, my child, my son.

She gets the award.

Best Friends

Richard Simmons Causes Total Chaos

Castles in the Sand

Today we went to a sand castle/sand education workshop sponsored by the Anne Kolb Nature Center at North Hollywood Beach. Dante had a blast deconstructing sand castles, learning about sand creatures, and eating turkey sandwiches with sand in them.

Funny Faces: Fun with a toddler and a camera

96 Hours

She's been gone 96 hours now. The Humane Society and Animal Control were closed today. I'll be there when they open tomorrow to see if she's in a kennel. If not, I read the DOA and injured lists.

Do I give up? Is she officially gone for good? I can't just do nothing.

Update on Carrots

Carrots has now been officially missing for 41 hours. I've gone and checked both the Humane Shelter and the Animal Control Center daily since she has been gone and nothing. The Animal Control Center has a list of what has been brought in, dead or alive, and she hasn't been on it. The Humane Shelter lets me walk through the kennels to see if she's there....and she's not.

I can only hope that someone picked her up, thought she was cute and decided to keep her.

I hope.

I just wish I knew. If she is, in fact dead, I hope she didn't suffer. I hope she's not sufferring or hungry or frightened if she is, indeed, alive.

Dante keeps asking for her and we've told him that Carrots went to Alaska to visit her mommy and become a famous sled dog.

I've papered the entire neighborhood with flyers, offered a reward, and put a notice up on Craig's List. Both shelters have a flyer and I filled out the "lost dog" form. I wish there was something else I could do. She has an Animal ID tatoo on her tummy. I hope someone finds her. I miss her terribly and so does our other dog Salad, who has now taken to pooping and peeing all over the house in her anger and grief.

I will never forgive myself for this. Ever.

She's Gone

One of our Jack Russells, Carrots, ran away tonight. She ran out the front door as Randy and I were letting Dante say goodnight to the moon. I didn't close the door properly and now she's gone. It's my fault. She's gone. She didn't have her collar on as I had just given both of them a bath. And now she's gone. I hope she's not hurt or suffering. I hope someone finds her and sees the tattoo ID on her stomach. I hope Randy finds her tonight. But deep down I know that she is gone. Even Salad knows she is gone.

After the Rain

Dante and his friend Keenan. 4.7.2008

"The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful"

- E. E. Cummings

It's Elmo's World. We're All Just Livin' In It.

I have come to the realization that if you are under 6 years old, the only things that matter in the world to you are Elmo, Elmo, food, Elmo, Elmo, juice, Elmo, Elmo, milk, Elmo, Elmo, getting your diaper changed and Elmo. In that order. If you are a parent of an under sixer, or a toddler like I am, you will quickly come to know everything and anything that involves Elmo MUST involve your child.

We took Dante to the local Jump & Gym tonight for a SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY ELMO and Cookie Monster (<---but who cares about Cookie Monster). Let me tell you, the place was mobbed. Mobbed with about 50 kids and sets of parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/neighbors yadda yadda. You would think it was the Pope (ew!) or the President (bigger ew!) coming to visit. People were manic! Mothers and fathers hustling their kids around as though "Elmo" was going to care that their shirt was rumpled. Grandmothers putting lipstick on while fixing their hair in the small mirror of their Max Factor compacts. Grandfathers and fathers sitting wide eyed in the corners of the room, wondering what the hell the women folk do during the week while they are at work: This?!?!?! Finally, the moment arrived and as the traditional "Elmo" theme song came on, in walked "Elmo"; some $8 an hour party employee sweating their ass off in a tattered looking costume followed by an emaciated "cookie monster" whose zipper must have broken in the back because I could see jeans back there. Despite all of this, you would have though Jesus had just walked into the room. A sort of Close Encounters of the Third Kind polyphonic intonation happened as all the children (and parents) droned in with one melodious "aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" as "Elmo" and "Cookie Monster" entered the room.

Then all hell broke loose.

It turned into a madhouse with parents and children scrambling to get to Elmo and CM for photo ops. Seriously, children and parents were being crushed and elbowed and shoved and pummeled left and right just to get close to the E man. Randy and I held Dante back and just watched the chaos ensue. Honestly, we could not believe our eyes at the behaviour of some of these people. You'd think they were handing out gold bars or something. It was almost horrible to watch. So we wait and wait and wait for the tidal wave of "Me! Me! Me!" to die down and finally get a picture of Dante with Elmo.

The look on his face when he was face to face with Elmo was worth it.