How to spell "Irony"

We've been trying to conceive. Yes, it's true, Randy and I are trying to produce another heathen free thinking baby to overthrow the balance of nature according to *ahem cough cough cough* "god's plan". So of course, we've been having lots of sex, which started out being quite fun, but now has become more like "C'mere and stick it in, I have to do laundry so hurry up".

My last period was March 3. Yes, March 3rd. Three months ago. Yet every pregnancy test I have taken has come up negative. Not for lack of trying, though, and thus we were getting very discouraged. I finally broke down and decided that I needed to see a doctor. Trust me, I HATE going to the doctor and with no health insurance, one has to be extremely selective on when and why going to the doctor is necessary. But, Randy and I agreed that 3 months and no period plus negative pregnancy tests meant that a doctor was needed to tell us what was going on. So I called a clinic and made an appointment for today, got my mom to come and watch Dante and went.

So here's the irony. I get to the doctor. They give me a urine test (which comes up negative, surprise surprise). I get naked and lie down on the table, place my feet in the stirrups, say hello to the extremely nice doctor, and get ready for the icky part. The doctor puts in the speculum and................

I get my period.