I've been feeling extremely lonely and isolated for a while. A few days ago, on a site for moms I belong to, a thread in one of my message boards suggested everyone show a picture of their BFFIRL. In "cool young person netspeak" that means "Best Friend Forever In Real Life". All the women in this particular group posted these wonderful pictures of themselves with their BFFIRLs. Some had been friends for a few years, others since high school, and even more others had been friends for over twenty years. It was wonderful to see.
My contribution to this particular thread was "I don't have one". Which is true. I don't have a BFFIRL. I don't even think I have an FIRL. Sure, there are the moms I see a few times a week at playgroups but they're all 25 and cute and perky, and I'm, well, I'm not.
I did have a couple of BFFIRLs but one chose her boyfriend who didn't like me and the other sided with my ex-husband when we split (who knows what lies he told them as to why we split), but since then I cannot trust women.
Yet, I am lonely for the friendship of one. I fear them, but I yearn for my BFFIRL. But that's not the irony that prompted me to write this post. The irony was that I was shuffling through my music player and the song that came up first was this: