Monday, April 7, 2014

Pink or Blue? F**K YOU!

Enough already with the goddamn "Boy" and "Girl" crap.  Really, enough.  I've had it up to here with the fucking "blue is for boys" and "pink is for girls" idiocy.  I've had it with making a normal everyday object, turning it pink, and then saying "it's for girls, yay!" It's  Darth Vader's red lightsaber! Only boys can touch it!  Now it's pink!  Yay girls!

Shut the fuck up with that bullshit. I had an encounter a couple of years ago about this crap with an asshole and I think it's high time this ended.

There are pink versions of every toy you can think of.  Is a piano not going to be able to be touched by a girl if it isn't pink? Is a soccer ball going to melt if it is kicked by a girl and it is not pink, what if her sneaker is pink?  There's even a Transformer that is pink, Arcee. Seriously??? When the hell did the ROBOT TRANSFORMERS grow boobs and dicks?  I had no idea that they were male or female.  Last I checked they were ROBOTS.  And I'm sorry, but I played with Transformers as a little girl and I was never burned, lightning did not strike me, nor did I end up a lesbian. 
And don't think that this is just the feminization of "boy" toys.  It works both ways as well.  Now "girl" toys are becoming more masculine by coloring them more "manly" colors.  For example, the LeapPad series comes in standard "unisex" green and the "girl" option is pink.  Gel cases can be found in "manly" blue and purple (though some may argue that purple still means they're "fruity").

The Easy Bake oven, which only came in one color years ago, now comes in "girly" pink, light blue, and purple.  The website itself is disgustingly infuriating as well as it is literally called "Easy Bake Cooking & Baking Games for Girls!" The whole website, including the videos and the links, are directed towards girls.  There's no, "Hey so you want to be Mario Batali when you grow up" or "Gordon Ramsay's tips on how to make amazing Beef Wellington in your Easy Bake Oven".  No, there's none of that.  The whole site is this overly cute, overly frilly, overly girly, piece of crap that would make any boy feel like there was something wrong with him if he liked that sort of toy.  Trust me, it does.  My oldest son loves to cook and asked for an Easy Bake Oven.  We went to the store to look for one and I hate to say it, he fell into the trap of the whole "girl" "boy" bullshit.  It's hard to teach gender neutrality at home when his peers make fun of him for wanting to jump rope instead of shoot hoops, for wanting to read a My Little Pony book instead of Iron Man.  So I don't fault him for chickening out and changing his mind. Besides, he cooks in our home oven now anyway, so take that Easy Bake.

I got into an argument with the drive up teller at McDonald's (please no hate mail. I know McD's is gross, but once in a blue moon isn't going to kill them) because I refused to say I wanted the "boy toy" as opposed to the "girl toy".  I kept saying that my children wanted the stuffed bear toy that came with the meal and she kept asking me if they were boys or girls.  I insisted that it didn't matter what gender my children were, they just wanted that particular toy!  And mind you, the "boy toy" was a piece of crap football player thing.  What the hell do my kids know about football?  They're 7 and 3.  They want a stuffed animal!  So I pull up to the window to collect the meals and I ask the woman to make sure that apple slices are in the bag (they forget) and when she notices the "girl toys" in there, she says "Oh no! You have boys!  We need to change the toys NOW!!!"  Um, no you don't.  They're not going to magically sprout boobs just because they're not playing with a "boy toy".  The woman looked at me very strangely when I told her not to change them and said "Whatever".  To this day, I refuse to say "boy toy" or "girl toy".  I can't.  It's just bullshit.

And mind you, it's not just directed toward children, this moronic brainwashing of gender specification  also targets (supposedly) intelligent adults.  The gun industry is making a killing on "Guns for the Ladies", that are pink or leopard print, and that fit in your purse or clutch. They even have PINK BULLETS!  Seriously!!! Now we are gender specifying how we kill another human being?!?!?!  Look, I'm not a fan of guns (don't care if you are, I just am not) but if I am going to shoot someone who is about to hurt my children, I could care the fuck less if it had a Hello Kitty logo on it, a fuzzy case, or was pink.  Jesus Christ!  Come on people!!

Don't even get me started on Bic for Her. I kid you not, their tag line is "A ball pen essentially for her!"  Seriously?  Now I need a special pen to write with because my dainty girl fingers can't handle the man pens?  What does a woman need this "essential" pen for?  Do I use it to mark my menstrual cycle on the calendar?  God forbid I use a plain ol' man pen for that!  I might get pregnant! Maybe I should write my shopping list because only girls do the shopping!  Maybe I can use it to score all the cute boys I know, because after all I am just a dumb girl whose only interests are boys, boys, makeup, boys, hair, makeup and boys!  Mean man pens are too hard to write with and if I make a mistake, they hit me!

You'd think that in this day and age, this whole bullshit of "boy this" and "girl that" would be a thing of the past.  Sure, there are differences between men and women.  I can't pee standing up (without making a huge mess) and they can't have a baby (although why is it that when I'm the pregnant one, it's always "we're" having a baby).  But certainly, it is high time to change the toy store sections from Pink (dolls, cash registers, kitchens, mops, beauty products) and Blue (sports equipment, action figures, toy guns and weapons, video games, tools) to just sections labeled "Stuff for ALL KIDS".  This way, more boys and girls won't have to feel ashamed or different for shopping outside of their "color".


Lisa R. Petty said...

I order Happy Meals for myself in an effort to get smaller portions and I HATE that question, too. I with you on this.

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