Thursday, May 27, 2010


I seem to have reached that stage in my pregnancy in which I would like to change my mind. It happened with Dante, and I blogged about it then, but in that case four years ago, my mind was being changed due to the fact that I was terrified of giving birth.

This time around, I would like to change my mind for completely different reasons. First and foremost, Dante and I have a good thing going here. We have our own routine, our own "thing"; we're a great team. Now, I'm going to bring a new baby into the mix and it's going to screw everything up! Secondly, I enjoy sleeping. The amount of sleep I currently get, scratch that, the amount of sleep I used to get before getting pregnant was really not bad. I got a good 6 hours at least. Nowadays, with the pregnancy keeping me up at night "preparing" me for the new arrival, I'm lucky to get 3 or 4 hours. I can only imagine what is yet to come. Thirdly, I'm terrified of this C-section. So terrified that I would like to detract all of my statements from my blog linked above about Dante's birth and say that I would much rather birth this kid the "normal" way instead of being sliced open like a Tauntaun on Hoth and have my innards spill out everywhere.

And last, but certainly not least, I'd like to change my mind because I don't think I can do this again. What the hell do I remember about babies? I hardly have any memories of life when Dante was an infant due to sleep deprivation (See, reason #2 above) and plain old exhaustion. Now I'm going to start all over again?!?!?! The diapers, the round-the-clock feedings, the spit-ups, the gross poops, the crawling, the not crawling, the hours spent working on new words, walking, new foods, strollers, car seats, carriers, tummy time, and on and on and on and on and on.

I seriously have got to be crazy.

So I am officially changing my mind here. I have no idea how I am going to be able to accomplish this, but I currently have Stephen Hawking on speed dial working on some sort of time machine for me.


Melanie Miller said...

Oh you will be okay lol Imagine I did it with 3! All 3 yrs apart! It's hard but you will be glad that you did, atleast you aren't that Duggar woman having like 20, now that's crazy! Keep writing Alessia I love em!!

Katie said...

I remember that feeling. And I also remember (vaguely) that feeling going away. Not immediately but very soon after the "terrifying" birth. This is why I had drugs, not for the pain but for the panic attacks. At some point, after we got home from the hospital, in the middle of the night when Miss S. FINALLY fell asleep, I thought "Look what I have created!" Sure, that guy snoring in the other room helped but really, I did the work.

Regardless, you will be fine. You and Dante will adjust. I'm sure he is already becoming a big helper.

Jen Sarch said...

It is going to be awesome. Yes, it is going to suck at times but overall it is going to be better than you could have imagined and all worth it.

Adrienne said...

Believe me I know how you feel and I can totally relate . 2 years ago I was in the same situation .I had it made my oldest was ten and my youngest 9 and Bam I find out pregnant ! I think I cried for 6 months ... I didn't even tell anyone I was so upset . Then my whole world changed the day she was born and believe it or not it was all good I wouldn't trade her for the world ! There was a period of adjustment but so worth it ! Good luck to you and keep writing ! Adrienne

Sherrie said...

You can do this! It's pregnancy brain messing with you now, making you forget how to be a new mom. Scary would be starting over when Dante & Bean are teens!

As for the C-section, just remember not to push yourself too soon afterward. I remember quite well how cocky I was, walking around the hospital as if nothing happened. And again when I decided to vacuum the house after a week home. Don;t be a dope like I was.

Good vibes, beautiful one.