Thursday, September 11, 2008


I was just informed that today is being hailed as Patriots Day. Patriots Day. Are you fucking kidding me? Patriots?!?!? Who the hell decided this travesty. Oh wait, let me guess, Idiot #1 and Idiot #2 in the White House? P-A-T-R-I-O-T Day. Nice.

Let's define the word "patriot" shall we?

Main Entry: pa·tri·ot
Pronunciation: \ˈpā-trē-ət, -ˌät, chiefly British ˈpa-trē-ət\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French patriote compatriot, from Late Latin patriota, from Greek patriōtēs, from patria lineage, from patr-, patēr father
Date: 1605
: one who loves his or her country and supports its authority and interests

Um, ok. What the fuck does that have to do with being killed in a terrorist attack? There is NOTHING inherently 'patriotic' about being murdered at the hands of religious fanatics. How about calling it "Our government caused this Day" or how about "3000 people died conveniently so our government could go to war Day". Those would be more appropriate. But no. Whatever douchebag is in charge of making up holiday (as if this is even a holiday) names, decided to come up with the ever disgusting "Patriots Day". Please to explain WHO are these patriots and WHY are they being honored today? Last I checked 99.9999999% of the victims of September 11th were innocent people going about their daily business. So, they get blown up by a couple of Islamofascists and automatically they're patriots!?!?!

In my humble and demure opinion (*snicker*) calling today "Patriots Day" completely tarnishes the severity of and humbling events that occurred seven years ago. It makes it sound Orwellian and militaristic, as though everyone that was at the WTC that day was goose stepping in straight rows chanting "We love America" every step of the way. It wasn't the Ministry of Defense, Big Brother wasn't watching, and it certainly wasn't a day for "patriots". Give me a break.

Calling today "Patriot Day" also implies, at least to me, that the victims were martyrs. Yet, WHOSE cause did they die for? Certainly not Mohammed Atta's and his twelve accomplices' cause. After all, they were "big bad Muslims" and thus believed in Allah who is not the same as the Christian god. Well, actually he is, but tell that to any fundamentalist and they'll scream holy hell at you. So, if in fact, the victims of September 11th 2001 were martyrs but not for the Islamofascists, THAT means they died for the causes of The United States Government. Oh guffaw guffaw, that means that the US knew something like this was going to happen and thus the "collateral damage" that ensued was justified to propel their cause. Hm. Really? Well then, of course, they're Patriots all right.

Maybe Patriots Day refers NOT to the victims of the WTC attacks but to the thousands of men and women in the armed forces that have given life and limb to fight an illegal and unjust war. Yet, if we look at the definition of "patriot" above, how many soldiers serving now or back home actually support what they and their brothers and sisters are doing. Not many, I'm sure. Certainly not these soldiers:

Iraq Veterans Against the War

Veterans Against the Iraq War

But no, THOSE guys aren't patriots so we should just ignore what they have to say. Patriots are better off as silent, dead people who can't stand up and voice their opinions. So, I guess calling today Patriots Day is fitting. Idiots will wave their flags at the side of the road, random Arabs or "Arab looking" people will get the shit beat out of them today for "lookin' like a terrorist", and the propaganda machine will keep on spinning out lies and deceit while more and more American soldiers and civilians will be shipped home in boxes and more and more Iraqis will be burying their sons, daughters, mothers, and fathers.

Happy Patriots Day you stupid fucks. I will sit here quietly and reflect upon the events of September 11th and the lesson the world SHOULD have learned from that day, instead of the profitable opportunities, both in money and in blood, it has gleaned.

In Remembrance

Wednesday, September 3, 2008



I love Beverly Hills 90210. I love that show. I watched it from its inception in 1990 aaaallllll the way to its grand finale in 2000. Ten years of Dylan, Kelly, Brandon, Donna, Steve, David, Brenda, Andrea (pronounced "ON-dreeeee-uh") and all the other characters that floated in and out of the show. It started when I was a Senior in High School and all of us gals would gather at our friend Lisa Perlman's house EVERY WEDNESDAY to watch "Bev 9" as we cool girls called it.

I will not lie nor ever deny that I LOVED 90210. I STILL love it; the reruns that is, that play on SOAPNet every day at 5pm. I get to watch Brenda try and bleach her hair in one of the first episodes so she could fit in with Kelly and Donna better and, instead, ends up with green hair. I get to see Andrea lust after Brandon as he tries to score with everything moving. I get to see David Silver go from "not" to "hot" coincidentally after his friend Scotty shoots himself. Or the ever growing bustline of Donna Martin as her boobs get bigger and her waistline smaller. Or Kelly joining a cult after she almost dies in a fire and goes lesbian for about three minutes. CLASSIC BEV 9! I LOVE IT!

Yet the powers of TV that be have decided bring back Beverly Hills 90210 and last night was the 2-hour premiere. I was excited to watch it. After all, I had been reading the "buzz" that some old faces would be making cameos AND also be there as permanent cast members! Great, I thought, it's going to be just like the new Degrassi High episodes that I love that have Joey and Caitlin in them from when I watched Degrassi back in the 80s! They reprised their roles and the show is AWESOME! I love Degrassi. Then and now. Sue Me.

Anyhow, back to the New Bev 9. I DVR'ed it last night as I was at my weekly FLASH meeting and thus would miss the first hour. So when I arrived home, I grabbed my dinner plate that Randy kept warm for me, propped up our little TV table, and proceeded to enter "TV Nirvana" with these new episodes of my 90210.

So I thought.

Not Quite.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY 90210?!?!?!? It was so contrived!!!! It was so predictable!!! Wait. Hang on. Maybe the OLD Bev 9 was contrived and predictable, but at 16 I didn't know any better? Now at 34 I just noticed it more? No matter, the new Bev 9 promises to be full of drama and scandal and treachery and blow jobs. Seriously, one of the first scenes in the first ten minutes was "Ethan" the cool guy getting a hummer in his Hummer on the first day of school in the parking lot while kids walked by, by someone who was *NOT* (shocker!) his girlfriend.

But I digress.

Kelly and Brandon have been replaced with Annie and Dixon who are brother and sister. Not twins and not even biological brother and sister as is made OBVIOUSLY clear in the first 3 seconds of the show as Annie and her mom and dad (Lori Loughling from Full House and Rob Estes from Melrose Place) are white and Dixon is black. So, right away there's a controversy right there. Add in the fact that Dad is the new principal of West Bev, you've got at least 650 story lines to go from there. Oh, and instead of being from Minnesota like the Walshes were, The Wilsons are from Wichita, Kansas. Nice.

Then of course, you've got the "bitch" character who is above schoolwork and has a posse. The Lacrosse team jocks who, of course, can't stand that "black guy" Dixon wants to join the team. Drug addicted, pill popping cool girl who does drugs because her mom can't pay the mortgage. The subversive film rebel nicknamed "Silver", whose real name is Erin. (Yep, you guessed it. That's David and Kelly's sister: Mel Silver and Jackie Taylor's love child from classic Bev 9). And the usual cast of "nerds" at the school paper which includes another "all-grownup character" Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez (Andrea Zuckerman's and Jesse Vasquez's progeny from their marriage in classic Bev 9). Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth) is back as West Beverly's guidance couselor and had a 4 year old son which has been *HINTED* as to being Brandon's and Brenda Walsh (Shannen Doherty) is back as well, although in what capacity, who knows.

Though I am certainly biased (and almost 20 years older), I plan on watching this new Bev 9 and being a cynical old bat in the process.