The Big "A" Strikes Again!

I swear, it must be Crazy Season when it comes to my book club, Ex Libris lately.  Either that, or it's a perpetual full moon and the crazy is here to stay.

Today I sent out an email to some members to pay their dues in a timely fashion or they would be removed.  I give them options, tell them where to find the rule about dues, and let them know they can contact me with any alternatives if they don't want to use PayPal.  Usually the person will pay their dues or email me asking me if they can send a check  or just leave the group. Simple, no?

Apparently not today.  A woman sent me an email in response saying:

"Sorry I guess we won't be a member then"

So I replied that I was sorry to hear that and could I ask why?

And then I got this:

"one, there was no explanation of what the $8 pays for

two, we have yet to come to a meeting - the last one we couldn't get the book to read

three, not comfortable with someone who pushes their atheism"

Really?  Fucking Really? Apparently at the end of the emails I send from Meetup.com, it lists other meetups I am a member of. Two of them are Atheist groups. Apparently "two" means "pushing".

So I replied:



Firstly, the $8 covers the fees for hosting on meetup.com, something that is clearly stated in the member rules and guidelines which are sent to all applicants.

Secondly, it is also stated clearly in the member rules and guidelines that dues are to be paid within three (3) days of joining the group.

Thirdly, nowhere in my book club does it state anything about religon or religious preference therefore you must be basing your biased assumption that I am "pushing atheism" based on my memberships in other meetup groups. I am also in several parenting groups. Does this mean I am "pushing fertility"? Should I assume that the other members in Ex Libris who are in Buddhist groups, Jewish groups, Yoga groups, Christian groups, etc are all in my book club to "push" these agendas as well?

The world is a big place and Ex Libris is open to all people regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation, age, education, religion or lack thereof. Thankfully, because of your blatant disrespect and bigotry toward someone who doesn't share your worldview, Ex Libris will be grateful for your absence.

Have a nice day and good luck.

Alessia Lane
Organizer Ex Libris




Then I booted her ass out of the group.

I am so amazed at the intolerance of people. 

Judging by last night's meetup, the only thing anyone was "pushing" was awesome discussion and intelligent dialogue.  How dare us!

Going Off the Rails on the Crazy Train

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Reality Bites

With the recent violence in Aurora and Wisconsin, the secular community has once again come under attack for our godlessness and our insistent stance on separating church from state.  Congressmen and women have claimed that "god is angry" with America because the "atheists" have taken "god out of schools and our lives".  The always jovial and friendly televangelist Pat Robertson, you know, the guy who spews this kind of crap constantly, has now blamed "satanic atheists" for all that's going on.



Lovely right?

And, of course, the Twitterverse and Facebookland are filled with the whole "it was probably an atheist that committed those crimes because they don't have any morals or ethics and they eat babies and hate god and punch old ladies and kick puppies and think killing is awesome".  Maybe not in so many words but that is the general gist of the comments and conversations I have been witness to.

The most common statement I have come across lately is the "how easy it is to be an atheist because you just don't care about anything and don't have to worry about god judging you".  To this statement, I cry a loud and resounding "BULLSHIT".  Being an atheist is fracking hard and trust me when I tell you that I have tried with every ounce of my body to "believe" but simply cannot find the logic behind it.

"Ha!"You say. "The atheist wants to believe because deep down they know there is a god!" No. Sadly, deep down inside I am 99.999999999999% sure there isn't.  There reason I try to believe is because, face it, reality bites sometimes and I don't have the lovely cushion of security and comfort religion provides.  When a 6 year old is gunned down in a movie theater I don't have that "she's with Jesus now" mentality.  I have reality telling me that a 6 YEAR OLD is dead and her parents will never see her again. She will never grow up. She will never have a boyfriend, smile, eat, play, hug or kiss anyone, and she will never have the luxury of being alive that everyone seems to take advantage of.  The theist has the blissful advantage of being sad for this tragedy, but then actually believing that this little girl is now crowned with a halo and fluttering around Heaven with Jesus and all of her dead relatives and pets.  Her parents are comforted in their beliefs that when they die, they'll "meet up" again and everything is hunky dory.  How nice.  Really, I don't mean that in a snotty way.  There is no snark behind that statement.  To have that belief that someone you love is "waiting for you" in the next life, makes these horrible things well, a little less horrible.

Let me tell you. If one of my children were killed or died of a disease or something horrible like that, I would die myself.  Because, as an atheist, I don't have that belief of them "watching over me" or "in Heaven" or that I will "see them again".  My reality is that my child is gone.  Forever.  And I will never, ever, ever, be with them again.  So when tragedies like Aurora and Wisconsin happen, or I read about a baby with terminal cancer, or children starve to death, I'm not thinking they are in a "better place". I cry because they are dead and gone forever.  And that is a hard pill to swallow. A very very hard pill.

There have been only a handful of times that I tried very hard to put myself in the place of a religious person and try to "believe".  The biggest one for me was my grandmother's death.  I couldn't fathom that one minute she was here and the next not.  I would give both my arms and legs to see her for just 5 more minutes.  The theist has the comfort in believing that they actually will. The reality that my grandmother is gone forever is devastating, even after almost 20 years.  Death, at least for this atheist, is terrifying, and I don't want to face it.  The reality that my life, my parents' lives, my children's lives, my husband's life and all the lives of the people I care about are fragile and temporary frightens me to no end.  There are nights I wake up out of a sound sleep so afraid that I am going to die that I can't fall back to sleep.  It's horrible. 

It frustrates me to no end when people say they are "living for the next life".  Why?  Life is so amazing and wonderful, why would anyone waste it waiting for the afterlife.  It boggles the mind.  And it frustrates me even more when I'm told I "have it easy" with "no responsibilities or consequences" for my actions because sky daddy doesn't exist.  That's a scary statement.  It implies that the speaker is only decent and good because they fear repercussions from "god".  That, if in fact they did not have god in their lives, they would be on murderous rampages.  How absolutely frightening.

So let me tell you, an atheist doesn't have it easy.  Apart from being blamed for all the crap that goes on in the world, blamed for corrupting the childre, and moral fibers of society (I think we are tied with gays and lesbians on that one), blamed for being "intolerant" and general "meanies", we also carry the huge burden of seeing things as they really are.  There's no "he's dead but...." in our little world.  There's no "satan", causing people to do evil.  There's no "god's will", determining who lives or dies. There's no notion that we are this amazingly special creature created in the image of a deity who rule the planet and the Universe.  As the amazing Bill Nye, the Science Guy said, "I'm this guy standing on a planet. Really I'm just a speck. Compared with a star, the planet is just another speck. To think about all of this, To think about the vast emptiness of space.There's billions and billions of stars.Billions and billions of specks".



It's pretty humbling to be a speck.

But reality as an atheist isn't all doom and gloom.  I have the wonder of the Universe to marvel at and realize how absolutely amazing it is to be here at this moment right now.  The landing of the Mars Curiosity puts everything into perspective on how marvelous it is to be a human being.  No deity or supernatural forces needed.  Reality may bite when dealing with "the hard stuff", but in the end, it is really awesome and it is what makes this little trip around the sun so much more worth it.  I don't have the promise of an afterlife running around my head.  I have the promise that this life is all of I've got and I've got to make it worth something to myself and the people around me.  What a waste to do otherwise.

Like A Prayer

When I first met my husband, a native North Carolinian, he told me this joke about two little prim and proper Southern old ladies sitting on their front porch.
The first said to the other "My husband got me a Cadillac for my birthday this year!".
The other replied, "That's nice".
The first said, "And last year he bought me diamond earrings!"
"That's nice", replied the second.
"What did your husband get you for your birthday?" asked the first woman.
"Finishing lessons." replied the second.
"Finishing lessons?" asked the first woman, "Whatever for?"
"So I can say 'that's nice'", replied the second, "instead of 'Fuck you!'"

It's a cute joke and very fitting when I'm faced with the phrase "I'll pray for you".  This simple phrase uttered daily by millions of people has a very complex meaning, and it all depends on very specific circumstances.  Most people would assume, and wrongfully so, that because I am an Atheist, that the phrase, "I'll pray for you" would make me extremely angry and offend me to no end.  In fact, this past week while I was in the hospital having emergency back surgery (more on that in a future blog), my Facebook page was flooded with well wishes, thoughts, and yes, even prayers from friends who were thinking of me.  What upset me, though, were the posts from people offering prayers who felt they needed to "apologize" for using that terminology, thinking that because I don't pray, I would somehow find their need to do so as a way of wishing me well somewhat offensive.  So while lying in the hospital and watching horrible TV shows I would never dream of (admitting to) watching and having really cool painkillers pumped into my IV (seriously, the doctor said that if they gave me any more morphine I was going to stop breathing), I decided I would clarify certain things with my praying friends in hopes that they would understand my mind as an Atheist when it comes to things like that. Notice I didn't say "understand THE mind of an Atheist" as all of us are different and trust me, there are some fuckwad Atheists out there that I'd rather not be associated with.  Especially the ones that tell me I can't do Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy, but that's a whole other thing all together.  Anyhow, I digress.  Moving on.

The term "I'll pray for you" has, as I said earlier, different meanings.  Specifically, two.  The first comes from a place of love, caring, friendship, and the belief that your god (whoever or whatever he/she/it may be) will take time out of their omnipotent schedule (it's a pretty booked one) and nudge a little bit of goodwill by way of you to the person you're praying for.  That's awesome.  It's a nice sentiment.  There's no malice behind it and if anyone thinks there is, they're a dick for thinking it.  In most situations where the phrase "I'll pray for you" is being used or "You're in my prayers", someone like me who doesn't pray will say something like, "Thinking of you" or "Positive thoughts coming your way", or the ever intelligent "hugz".  There's no need to apologize for saying it.  You're wishing someone well.  You could be praying to Rangor, god of mute sheep who floods the fields with the blood of newborn lizards, and it still would be coming from a good place.  This meaning of "I'll pray for you" is not the one that is offensive.  So please, don't ever apologize for saying it.

Now, though, I will deal with the phrase as it is taken as a negative connotation.  I'm going to have to use examples since I've never experienced this with an actual friend, so most of my stories will be those of me and random strangers who are dicks.  No, I'm not judging. You'll see why.

Example 1 of "I'll pray for you" used as a negative:  I am shopping at a grocery store.  I am walking to my car with full cart of bags and children singing a random Yo Gabba Gabba song.  Woman is near my car. I think she's getting into hers next to me, but in fact she's just staring at my car.  I get my keys out to open the trunk.  Conversation is as follows:
Her: "Is that your car"
Me: "Yes, I'm sorry did I park too close?"
Her: "You're an Atheist" (My bumper sticker says "Friendly Neighborhood Atheist")
Me: "Yep."
Her: "So you don't believe in Jesus"
Me: "Nope"
Her: "I'll pray for you"

Did you spot the difference? She wasn't sending well wishes.  She was using the phrase as a mask instead of saying "Fuck you!"  And you can't convince me otherwise because 99% of the time when this happens (and yes, it happens quite often) the person saying "I'll pray for you" isn't merely speaking the words, rather they are spitting them in anger with a face on them that could stop a clock.  Seriously, if looks could kill, I'd be dead a hundred times over.  I even once had a guy actually spit on my car after saying "I'll pray for you".  Are you getting the gist of the different contexts?

Another example of the negativity aspect of "I'll pray for you" can also come in the written form.  In this case, when random strangers, leave "love notes" on my car.  I call them "love notes" because, as we all know, "god is love" and since these people believe they are speaking for god and followers of god, their notes are in fact, full of "his love".  Sorry, I told myself I wasn't going to be snarky, but blame the Percocet because it's kicking in.  Anyhow, the most common "love note" I get goes something like "Jesus Christ is Lord. You will burn in hell. I will pray for you".  Again, that's not a "get well soon" kind of sentiment.  They just don't have the guts to write "Fuck You" and would much rather condescend into some sort of weird passive/aggressive mumbo jumbo that makes them feel better about themselves. "Sure, I left a nasty note on someone's car whose views I disagreed with, but I am praying for them!" Not quite.  Sometimes I get some really clever notes, which have the standard text above, but thrown in they will add commentary about my other bumper stickers like "You are a ni**er loving socialist nazi" (must be the Obama sticker), "I feel sorry for your children" (must have seen the car seats in the car), "I hope your children burn for eternity" (see previous), or some that just don't understand the Carl Sagan quote about the Universe and call me a "fucking bitch", "cunt" or tell me to "go kill yourself, then see that you're wrong". But you know what brings all these notes together?  They all end with that simple phrase of .....you guessed it...."I'll pray for you".

But it doesn't end there. No no no!  It's not "I'll pray for you" that suffers from double meaning, but the phrase like "god bless you", rather anything with "bless" in it falls into the same trap. And again, I have to remind my friends not to apologize if you want to use it in a sentence while talking with me.  A while back I went to dinner with a wonderful woman from my book club.  She is an Episcopalian Minister, married to her partner for a long long time, and really someone that you come across once in a lifetime.  Amazing.  While we were eating and talking about our families, life, loves, etc. I noticed that she kept apologizing every time she said "god bless you" or "god bless them" when I was talking about my children or parts of my life.  And every time she apologized for saying it, I had to remind her not to because it wasn't offensive to me.  I think many religious people think all Atheists are cranky old men like Richard Dawkins who are always looking to pick a fight with theists.  You have to understand that we're not.  Sure, as I said earlier, there are fuckwads on all sides of the camp, but saying "god bless them" when I tell you a story about my kids isn't going to make me offended or go on a tirade.  You're wishing them love as you perceive it.  You're sending them positivity from a place that means a great deal to you.  Why ever would anyone need to apologize for that?

On the flip side, if you're handing out pamphlets at the park inviting me to your church and I politely say, "No thank you, we are Atheists", and you chuckle, scoff, roll your eyes and say "Well, god bless you then", please don't be surprised if I reply with some snarky comment like, "Well Santa bless you as well". 

So you see, there are many ways words and phrases can be used that take on a different meaning when used in different contexts.  I wanted to clear this up because I don't ever want anyone to hide or apologize for who they are when they want to wish me or my family well.  Goodness knows, I am not one to ever apologize or hide who I am or what I believe and neither should you.  No, this is not an open invitation to start throwing bible quotes on my FB timeline or send me "Jesus loves you" pictures or anything of the sort.  Just know that if you want to wish me well or luck or whatever and if the way you want to do it is to "pray for me", know that you do not have to apologize for saying it.  A perfect example came in an email from another one of my book club members who is a Pastor at a local Presbyterian Church near Dante's school. In his email he wrote " I'll be keeping u in my prayers (u can think of them as nice thoughts if u prefer :))".  

In Memoriam

“The only position that leaves me with no cognitive dissonance is atheism. It is not a creed. Death is certain, replacing both the siren-song of Paradise and the dread of Hell. Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more.” 

Christopher Hitchens 1949-2011

Thank-you, Gracias, Merci, Danke, 谢谢, شكرا , спасибо, , Obrigado, ありがとう, אַ דאַנק

The holiday season begins the time of year where post after post, story after story, is about how “the Atheist” deals with certain religious situations that occur with each tradition. The past weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, I’ve been bombarded with every typical, “How the Atheist can cope” story on my news feed; from large news providers like The Huffington Post to personal blogs like The Friendly Atheist.  Reading all of these stories has made me realize and understand what I am really thankful for on this Thanksgiving 2011.
With all the “givens” aside that I am obviously “thankful” for: my husband, my children, our health and our happy home, friends and family, yadda yadda yadda, it has become glaringly apparent that I should emphasize one very special “thank-you”.
So here goes:
                                                                                                             
This Thanksgiving (and hopefully I am able to retroact this to all past Thanksgivings) I am especially thankful to my parents, Diana and Marcello, who always let me and my brother “be”.  I mean this in the sense that we grew up always being encouraged and supported into finding our own way, whether we fucked up royally or soared with achievement.  My parents never constrained us into a specific “you have to do this this way” or “you have to be this person” and I am quite sure that, after the standards ups and downs of “life”, they turned out some really cool kids. Not to brag, but I think my brother and I are some pretty cool cats.
So when I read these articles during the holidays about how an Atheist should “cope” or speak with fellow Atheists who have to hide who they are at the holiday dinner table, I just realize how lucky my brother and I have it.  We’ve never had to hide anything from our folks (which sometimes results in some pretty TMI conversations).  We’ve never been criticized for who we are or what we believe (or don’t believe).  Sure, both mom and dad are Atheists too, which helps a lot in the whole “non-judgmental” department, but I have a feeling if either my brother or I came home one day as evangelical Christians or Orthodox Jews, my parents would be ok with it. Sure, they’d be a little confused, but aren’t children supposed to confuse their parents to begin with?
So thank-you, mommy and papinos, for letting us “be”.  I know that I will instill those same sentiments in my children so that they may become whoever they wish to be without fear or repercussions.
Now get over here and stuff your faces.

A Tit-for-Tat You Don’t Want to Play

So I guess by now, everyone has heard about the Atheist group in Orange County that put up a billboard that misquoted Thomas Jefferson.  This is the same group that thought it would be “informative” and “eye-opening” to rip out Bible pages off of a pier.  In other words, at least to me, these are the types of Atheists that I tend to say, “I’m not with them”.  I mean, as Atheists, we are constantly  being scrutinized and criticized for being these godless heathens with no possible way of having or understanding morality without a sky daddy and book of rules written by primitive goat herders telling us how to live.  I have often heard the random theist wonder out loud how I am not running around murdering, raping, and pillaging, if I don’t believe there is a god to “punish” me for those actions and that, and this is where it gets scary, if they knew there was no god, they don’t know what would stop them.  Seriously.  The only thing stopping you from being a murderer is the idea that there is an invisible sky fairy keeping you in line?  And I’m the immoral, unethical, baby eater?
Anyhow, I digress. 
So basically, we have this O.C. Atheist group that gets their billboard wrong.  Oh, well, egg on your face, do a better job next time, right?  Wrong.  Apparently, this mistake the group made is somehow supposed to discredit all of Atheism and make us the laughing stock of the world.  Really.  Really?  Honestly, if one more person comes up to me with a smirk on their face saying, “Oh hey, you’re an atheist right, did you hear about that group that got the Jefferson quote wrong” <snicker snicker>. As though now I’m supposed to say something, “You’re right, we’re all buffoons!  How silly of me not to believe that a woman who was a virgin got pregnant by a ghost who then became this guy who got nailed to a cross by his father but then came back to life three days later and then flew up to the sky to be with his dad and the ghost who are really all the same thing and then we have Christmas.”
I mean, do you really want to play tit-for-tat with the whole theist vs. atheist and “making stupid mistakes” thing?
Let’s do a little breakdown here:
 
Theist “whoopsies”:

   
Statistics from A Report on the Crisis in the Catholic Church in the United States (2004)

US clerics (priests, deacons, bishops, etc.) accused of abuse from 1950-2002: 4,392.
About 4% of the 109,694 serving during those 52 years.

Individuals making accusations: 10,667.

Victims' ages: 5.8% under 7; 16% ages 8-10; 50.9% ages 11-14; 27.3% ages 15-17.

Victims' gender: 81% male, 19% female

Duration of abuse: Among victims, 38.4% said all incidents occurred within one year; 21.8% said one to two years; 28%, two to four years; 11.8% longer.

Victims per priest: 55.7% with one alleged victim; 26.9% with two or three; 13.9% with four to nine; 3.5% with 10 or more (these 149 priests caused 27% of allegations).

Abuse locations: 40.9% at priest's residence; 16.3% in church; 42.8% elsewhere.

Known cost to dioceses and religious orders: $572,507,094 (does not include the $85 million Boston settlement and other expenses after research was concluded). (Hartford Courant, 2/27/04)

 





I could go on, but this is just a half-hour show……

Atheist “whoopsies”:


Not really much of a comparison no?  And before someone starts with their “Hitler was an atheist” bullshit or “Stalin and Mao were atheists and killed millions of people, so there!” argument, let me just say Number One: No, he wasn’t and Number two, "Atheism itself has never motivated, excused or caused any deaths. Atheism is just the personal statement that one does not believe in god or gods. Stalin, Pol Pot, Mao became a religion. Ideology became a matter of faith in these instances." (quoted from The Athefist)
So, I’ll gladly accept a misquoted billboard by a group of over zealous Atheists any day.  I may not agree with their methods, but faced with the alternative, I think I’m going to be just fine.

Death visits the Atheist

   Last Friday, my husband Randy's father died. It wasn't sudden, but it also wasn't entirely expected, seeing as the doctor had given a "6 months" prognosis of the cancer that was devastating his body.  It is always sad and difficult when someone dies, but I think that most people don't realize how much more sad and difficult this process is when you are an Atheist.  While his overly religious family members have their beliefs that "paw paw" is now strumming guitars in heaven with Jesus and all the other family members who have "gone home" in the past, my husband is faced with the reality that his father is dead and whose ashes now inhabit a lovely urn.  There are no cherubs singing psalms, he's not halo'ed and wing'ed, and he's not swapping stories with his Confederate (yes, Confederate) ancestors about the fact that a Black president was elected in the year 2008. Randy, Sr. has passed from this mortal coil, and in the words of the truly immortal Carl Sagan, he has become "star stuff" once again and is gone.  His "eternal life" is now memorialized on Facebook, as hundreds of people have stopped by my husband's page and left "prayers" for him and reassured him that they will "meet again in heaven".

To which my husband (and I)says, "Bullshit".

So where is the comfort for the nonbeliever?  Well, it's within ourselves and with eachother.  At least I think so.  But I think that the comfort should also lie in being respected by those around you.  People know we are an Atheist family, yet continue to mention God and Jesus and heaven as though those would be soothing things for my husband to hear.  They're not.  You may as well be saying, "So sorry for your loss Randy, know that your dad is in Lilliput with Mother Goose and Santa now".  Where is the respect for HIS belief?  At the funeral and following reception (is that what it is called?) Randy was subjected to the Southern Baptist style of death: songs, Jesus, God, preacher, more songs, more Jesus, more God, more preacher, wife wailing over the coffin, coffin, more Jesus, God, God, God, God, heaven, Jesus, amen.  Did he snicker?  Did he snort or roll his eyes or guffaw at the ridiculousness of it all?  Did he scream, "This is CRAP!" in the middle of the sermon? Of course not, because he is respectful of the beliefs of his family.  He would never think to impose his ideas about what was going on to people who didn't believe like he did.

Yet, the reverse isn't true if you are an Atheist.  People refuse to respect and/or understand the notion that God and Jesus are irrelevant to you. We received a sympathy card that was, in essence, a call to Jesus.  It's content was less about how sorry the sender was for Randy's loss, but rather how it's time now for us to rely on God to protect us and turn to "him" for comfort and on and on and on and on. It's almost offensive.  No wait, it is offensive.  This person knows we are Atheists. Knows full well that we don't believe in any God.  Why not some encouraging words that don't involve religion?  Why not just say, "I'm so sorry for your loss, Randy.  I hope you find comfort in your family and know that we are thinking of you".  No, instead we get a whole condemnation of how something is inherently wrong with us and we need to find God in order to fix it.  "Only God can heal you now" or some shit like that.  It's disrespectful, plain and simple.  Would I send a Jesus card to a Jewish person?  Would I send a card with a picture of Mohammed on it to a Muslim?  Would I send an Atheist card to a Christian? (<----I've considered sending a thank you note to the sender in this fashion, but that would be childish. Funny, but childish. You know, "Thanks for the sympathy card. There is no god you sad deluded old person, now grow up". Or something like that).

The point is, that we as Atheists (and I suspect many non-Christians as well) have been forced to be respectful of theists even when that respect is not returned.  We're forced into submitting to their ritual of grief and grieving, death and dying, yet no one has offered to listen to another voice.  Everytime Randy tried to talk to one of his relatives about his dad's death, he was drowned in religious mumbo jumbo which neither soothed or comforted him. And while we both know that these words given were not meant to be malicious or offensive, but rather as a reassurance, it has to be said that if you don't believe in this stuff, those words mean nothing. They may make the speaker feel better, but if the person on the receiving end is an Atheist, you may as well be talking to a wall.  Your intent will be noted, but your words will offer no comfort or solace.

So now, Randy is healing and me and the kids are doing our best to help him; without fairy tales or promises of floating up in the sky or imaginary sky fairies playing guitars, but with love and support and the reality that life, though finite, is worth every single second.

"I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking. The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides." -Carl Sagan, 1996

Rants, Raves, and The Gays

Apologies in advance if some of the things I discuss in today's blog are a little out of date, but it is virtually impossible to sit down and blog with a very demanding and attached six-month old and and equally demanding four-and-a-half year old. As I write this, the baby which was soundly sleeping is now awake and gurgling in the next room, so on top of the previous apologies, I must add another if my blog seems rushed or disjointed.

Ok so, I have written notes with some talking points on them which may make it seem scattered, so sue me.

First things first, it's obvious that the big story in the news has been the shooting in Tucson. Of course, you have seen the previous posts by the Conservatard referencing my comments on the tragedy on another website. Now while I generally agree that the crazed maniac who committed this act is indeed a crazed maniac, I have to think that the rhetoric by such geniuses of the political world did not help the situation. I find it highly coincidental and suspect that the main target of the attack was a politician who had been "targeted" and singled out by this rhetoric. If Jared Loughner was simply crazed maniac in general then he could have gone and shot anyone, anytime, anywhere. The fact that he carefully planned and chose his intended victim, makes me believe that on top of the whole crazed maniac, he was a crazed maniac with a plan. But this is old news and I've already screamed about it, and been screamed at about it, and all this screaming isn't going to bring back the people who died or the fact that it's still very easy for your everyday psycho to get a gun and shoot up a supermarket in this country.

Yes, the world is a shitty place sometimes and horrible things happen to good people, and sometimes birds fall out of the sky for no apparent reason but the brains behind Generals International, namely Cindy Jacobs, knows the reason why and wants to tell us all: It's The Gays. The Gays are the reason why birds are falling from the sky in Arkansas. It's all The Gays fault with their "gayness" and wanting be treated equally and get married and have children and fight in the military and have their Barbra Streisand and their Project Runway and their Village People! IT'S TEH GAYZ!!!!!



You know, if there was anyone more deserving of a slap in the face with a high school science textbook, it would be this woman. I mean, seriously, how do these people get up in the morning and function? They're idiots. Yes, you're right Cindy! "God" is making birds fall out of the sky because a vast portion of society believes they are deserving of the same human rights that everyone else has! Absolutely. Makes perfect sense. This "god", who is notorious for sending rains that drown all of Earth's population (except for an incestuous man and his family and a handful of non-gay animals), is going to make a bunch of birds die. In one state. In one county. Because of "teh gayz". This "god" who supposedly sent a devastating earthquake to Haiti because they "made a deal with the devil" some two hundred years ago. This "god" who turns his head when young girls and children as young as 18 months old are being gang raped in violent African countries. This "god" who rained fire and brimstione on Sodom and Gomorrah. No. He kills birdies. He kills little bitty birdies to get his point across. Really? Really??????? My eyes just fell out my head they are rolling so hard.

And FYI, the birds "fell out of the sky" because they were stupid. They were killed by blunt force trauma to the head and breast when they became spooked by fireworks and flew into buildings. It had nothing to do with a supernatural entity being upset over "teh gayz".

Next. Anyone catch Ricky Gervais' sign off at the Golden Globes?



I love Ricky and I love how most people don't understand that statement. The religious will be quick to jump on the phrase as Gervais' admittance that he does indeed believe in god and therefore is thanking him, while in fact, the statement itself is riddled with irony. Something lost on the hardcore holy rollers I've noticed. The statement itself implies that the more one studies about the concept, teachings, books, history, etc. about "god" (whichever one you choose), the inevitable conclusion you will reach is that there isn't one/aren't any. In essence, the more you know about god, the less you are likely to believe in one.

Next. I want to hang out with Olivia from Jerseylicious.

Next. It is 2011 and I will be 37 years old in June. I am extremely excited that for one year of my existence on this pale blue dot, I will be able to accurately quote Monty Python and have it be relevant.



Now all I have to do is change my name to "Dennis" and I'll be all set.

Finally (for now, at least), the inevitable "Baby and Big Brother Update" that no one really cares about except me and my immediate family, and possibly some "baby and big brother" fetishist out there in the interwebz.

All is well here. Baby Dorian is six months old, babbling away like he's trying to recite Shakespeare, completely attached to me (I can't leave the room to go to the bathroom without him screaming), and in complete awe of his big brother. Big Brother Dante is loving his Montessori school, obsessed with Transformers (namely Bumblebee and Optimus Prime), ornery, stubborn, and smarter than he should be, and completely in awe of his little brother.



Life is good. I blame it on The Gays.

The Church of Santa Claus

I was infuriated...no wait, inspired (yea, that's it) to write this post after reading Hemant Mehta's post, Too Soon to Learn About Santa Claus, over at his awesome Friendly Atheist site.
Since becoming a parent, I have discovered a whole "movement" of people who believe that telling your child about Santa Claus is akin to lying to them and, in essence, is a horrible thing to do. They believe that you should tell your child the honest truth about where the presents come from so they know that there is no such thing as being rewarded for gifts and that they work hard to give them said gift. It is also believed that children will grow up not resenting their parents for "lying" to them about Santa.
I hate this notion. Childhood is about harvesting the imagination, nurturing it, and letting grow. Telling stories about a magical being that comes at night and delivers presents to everyone all over the world is not lying to them. It gives children a sense of wonder and magic and goodness. They have a whole lifetime of being cynical, cranky, old people. Giving them a few years with Santa Claus isn't going to kill them. Santa is just a part of childhood, like peeing in your pants, skinned knees, your first kiss, and your first heartbreak.
On top of this, as an Atheist family, we get so much flack from fellow Atheists (and religious people alike) because we're the family with Christmas decorations and Santa, like we're supposed to NOT have any sort of imagination and make believe in our lives because we don't believe in god, gods, or any sort of creative force. No, we should celebrate Math Day or Rational Thinking Day instead. Sure, those could be interesting, but tell me what 4 year old would rather spend a day talking about integers and fractions instead of making wishes and lists for a magical fat man who promises treats and goodies for all the good little boys and girls?
We don't ascribe any religious significance to Santa and Christmas, and no one ever told me that growing up and celebrating a non-religious Christmas was "atheist illegal" why start now? And I never resented my parents for "lying" to me about Santa. What's the harm in letting your children BE CHILDREN?
No one has ever died in the name of Santa. There's no dogma in Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Harry Potter, Star Wars Universe (wait...there may be some weird pseudo/religious dogma-ish thingie there with The Force and the whole Medichlorons or whatever they're called hoodads), but I digress. There is a huge difference, at least in my opinion, in telling your children that Santa Claus resides at the North Pole with elves and makes toys and telling them that there is an omnipotent "creator" in the sky waiting to pass judgement and smite you down if you don't cater to his every whim and follow certain "rules" written in a book by primitive desert people some two thousand years ago.
BIG DIFFERENCE.
Santa doesn't pass legislation prohibiting same-sex couples to marry. Santa doesn't pull a trigger on a sniper rifle outside of an abortion clinic. Santa doesn't blow up buildings with airplanes. Santa doesn't chop off limbs with machetes. Santa doesn't make women subservient by covering them from head to toe. Santa doesn't carry "god hates fags" posters. Santa doesn't diddle little boys for decades and then have Mrs. Claus over at the North Pole try and cover it up and then say it was all a "misunderstanding" and "exaggeration". Santa doesn't do any of this bullshit! He brings presents and is fat and jolly!!!
And true, while I have highlighted some of the more "icky" aspects of dogma and religion, I know that those things aren't representative of different faiths people choose to follow. But, punch me in the face if they're not slightly becoming the "norm" in our society, eh?
So what's wrong with a little magic and pretend? Dante has an imaginary Balverine friend who comes to visit. (Note: A Balverine is a wolfman-like creature from the Fable 2 video game and looks something like this:but the Balverine is a Friend Balverine and doesn't want to eat us).
Anyhow, do I quash my kid's imagination and tell him he's talking to air? Do I tell him he's not, in fact, Captain Jack Sparrow and the bathtub is not The Black Pearl? Do I tell him that we are not actually sword fighting with chop sticks and are not Medieval Knights?
What do you think I do?

National Day of Prayer: So What?

Today is the National Day of Prayer. It was originally passed into law by Harry Truman in 1952 and stipulated that the President set aside one day a year as a day of prayer. It been going on for 53 years and is an "American tradition".

As an Atheist, I don't really care that today is National Day of Prayer, so I was just planning on going about my business like I normally do and just treat it like any other day, but it seems like some more "hardcore" atheist people and groups are taking their "anger" at today and taking it one step further. The Freedom from Religion Foundation, a group which I belong to and generally support its causes, scored a "major victory" on April 15, when U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb ruled that the National Day of Prayer violates the First Amendment to the Constitution. The White House quickly appealed the decision and President Obama declared that a National Day of Prayer would indeed continue and issued a very stern proclamation.

See, this is where many Atheists and I start to disagree. While a National Day of Prayer may be unconstitutional, it would be more unconstitutional if it were called a National Day of Christianity and Praying to Jesus. By reading Obama's proclamation, it is clear that the NDP leaves the spectrum of the term "prayer" wide open. While many Christian folk will use today to give an extra shout-out to the "man upstairs", Pagans may take moment to walk with the trees or nature spirits for an extra minute or two, Hindus may spend some free time conversing with Ganesh or Kali, Buddhists may chant for an extra 5 minutes. And Atheists and Secular Humanists may watch an extra episode of Nova or Cosmos and discuss the wonders of the Hubble telescope.

The bottom line is that the term "prayer" can be loosely defined to fit whatever need suits you best. The NDP does not specifically determine WHAT or WHO people should pray to, but rather suggest everyone take a minute to "take it all in". Whether that be as a moment of prayer to whatever higher power suits you, or just maybe taking a deep breath and saying, "Gee Universe, I'm so lucky that the crap shoot that is life and evolution accidentally made me."

So maybe I'm a bad Atheist because I'm not screaming in a picket line that the NDP should be abolished, It doesn't affect me. A National Day of Prayer is not going to suddenly make me believe in a god, start knocking on people's doors at 9am, and going to church (well, only if I'm going into a church to admire the art and architecture). So why bother getting all upset about it? There are more pressing church/state issues that need attention, most importantly the Texas Board of Education's "revamping" of its history curriculum to fit the Evangelical Right's needs.

Sure, many fanatics will use today as a way of pushing their "America is a Christian Nation" ideology, but any intelligent, educated person knows that isn't true. While very religious men, our Founding Fathers first of all were NOT Christians, they were Deists, and they understood the importance of not putting one religion over another. They clearly set out rules and doctrines that outlined this concept. But, with the very strong Evangelical Christian presence in this country, that line between church and state has thinned and I understand why many Atheists may get a little "trigger happy" to start marching and protesting about everything.

But is this really necessary? Who cares if it is National Day of Prayer? It has no effect on my day. Why should it affect yours? It's like the abortion issue or the gun issue. If you are against abortion, don't have one. If you don't want a gun, don't buy one. No one is forcing anyone to go out and pray today, no one os forcing us into churches or temples or mosques, no one is forcing us to change our beliefs.

It's National Day of Prayer today. Do with it what you will. Personally, I hope many people are so hell bent on praying that they stay home and reduce some of the traffic around here!

The Universe Never Sounded So Good

I posted a couple of autotunes a while back featuring the scientific philosophies of "the greats" set to music. You can find them here: We Are All Connected and A Glorious Dawn.

Turns out there is a whole website, called the Symphony of Science, dedicated to making these wonderful pieces. They are breathtaking, humbling, moving, and most of all beautiful. Here are another three that I've fallen in love with.

*side note: Look for my sexy astrophysicist boyfriend Neil DeGrasse Tyson. *sigh, he is so dreamy*

The Poetry of Reality


The Unbroken Thread


Our Place in the Cosmos

More Science Giants “singing”

 

Another autotune (see  previous entry Carl Sagan Sings) that is just amazing.  This one features giants in their field, Carl Sagan, Richard Feynman, Bill Nye, and my boyfriend Neil DeGrasse Tyson.  The wonders of the Universe, as made even more wondrous using the words of these greats. 

Unnecessary (and utterly stupid) Hate Mail

Continuing the saga of the hate mail that ends up in my various inboxes, today we have one that didn't even have to be written. I recently set up a Meet-Up group page for FLorida Atheists and Secular Humanists (FLASH) Parents, HERE. Meet-Up then sends out a mass email to people interested in the various categories that I listed the group under. In this case it was "parenting", "atheist", "secular humanism", "stay at home moms", and "parents & families".

And thus, I received my first hate mail!

The following message was sent to you by a Meetup member (Note,
they're not a member of your Meetup Group.)

* It was sent to you by: XXXXXXX (User ID: XXXXXX)

* XXXXX requested a response. To respond simply reply to this
email. (Note that when you reply, XXXXXX will have your email
address.)

What XXXXXX wrote:
----------------------------------------------------------------
This is sick!!!! Why would you send me an invitation to your BS
Athiest Group? I do not wish to receive anything from this
group. Have a blessed day.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Notice a couple of things. First of all, she didn't even have to reply to the invitation. She could have just ignored it and moved on with her day. I get tons of Meet-Up invites because I'm signed up for several categories, and I just ignore the ones I'm not interested in. But no, XXXXX here had to take all of her Christian love and goodness and write me a nasty one. Secondly, the idiot doesn't even know how to spell Atheist, despite the fact that the email she received had it plastered all over it.

So anyhow, I was going to let it go, but if you know me, you know I don't let things go, so here was my response:

Thank you so much for responding so kindly to the Meet-Up invitation you received. I am sure you are unaware that Meet-Up sends new group announcements to everyone who is signed up for certain categories and since it is obvious you are signed up for "parenting" groups, you received an invite. I did not seek you out and send you the invitation personally.

It is obvious from your note that you are a kind and caring person, and that you are teaching your children tolerance and respect for other beliefs that are not your own.

Thank you for being the epitome of the hypocritical religious person, who in one sense can write such a nasty and unnecessary note in response to a mass invitation and then turn around and wish me a "blessed" day. Thank you. Thank you for reinforcing the stereotype of the bigoted, intolerant, religious fanatic. You are a testament to your faith and a shining example for all Atheists and Secular Humanists everywhere.

Warm Regards,

Alessia Lane

Organizer FLASH Parents

Organizer Ex Libris: A Book Club With Brains

Assistant Organizer: The Hollywood Moms Meet-Up Group

Atheist Hate

I couldn't let this go for some reason so I wrote a letter to the Tyra show. I don't even watch her show, but I just couldn't let this go without a comment. Here is my letter below:


I just recently caught a clip of the Tyra show that featured Steve Harvey and I was disgusted and appalled at his comments about atheists. I was more offended at the reaction that Tyra gave, laughing as he made disparaging comments about a group of people as having no "moral barometer" if they do not believe in god.

Let me introduce myself. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a college graduate, an activist, and a human being. I am also an Atheist. I do not believe in god, gods, goddesses, or any sort of divine creator of this universe. My husband is an Atheist, and we are raising our child free from religion. This does not mean that we are teaching him religion is wrong and that we are right, it means that we are teaching him that the world is a gigantic place, and the millions of people that inhabit it, all look, feel, and believe differently.

We are not "immoral" people. We love, we laugh, we cry, we yell and scream, we tickle, we eat too much, and we spend too much time on the internet. Our "moral barometer" is based on our human consciousness of what is right and wrong. We do not kill, or steal, or hurt people, not for fear of the wrath of some imaginary cloud being, but for the mere fact that, as human beings, our NATURAL intellect dictates that these things are wrong.

Steve Harvey's comments were bigoted and prejudicial. If someone were to juxtapose the words "Jew" or "Muslim" or "Asian" into his statements about Atheism, would the audience have been so quick to titter? And would Tyra have allowed such hate-speech to be spoken so freely without comment?

The reality is that this country is made up of many godless individuals. There are many of us who do not believe in god, who lead normal, productive, and yes, MORAL lives. The Freedom From Religion Foundation put the percentage of Atheists in this country at 14% at last count. We are still citizens of this nation. We vote, we pay taxes, and we deserve the same respect given to any other individual, whether they be god-fearing or not.

If Steve Harvey, or anyone for that matter, wishes to base their opinion on someone on whether or not they believe in god or not, I am sorry to say that they will be missing out on some very interesting people. Some of the greatest minds in the world are god-free: Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, the late great author Douglas Adams, astronomer Carl Sagan, scientist Marie Curie, James Watson and Francis Crick who discovered the double helix and the origin of DNA, Seth McFarlane of Family Guy fame, author Kurt Vonnegut, George Clooney, Lance Armstrong, Natalie Portman, Katherine Hepburn, the list is endless.

What a sad existence it must be to be so closed minded and believe that your god would allow such hatred.

My conscience is my guide. There is no need to cling to spiritual fantasy. Our lives and our child's life are enriched by reality, not illusion.

The Mail Keeps Coming!

Here's another little gem from one of my various mailboxes. I'm not even deeming this one with an answer as everyone can plainly see that this person is a moron. Enjoy!

NAMECHANGED:This has been bothering me for quite some time. I've managed to mind my own business for a while, but I have a dilemma that's really starting to get to me. I really don't understand why someone who calls themselves an atheist can be so obsessed with god. Its very obvious that you are extremely insecure within your own beliefs. I don't understand the constant bickering and the intolerance of those who believe in a "supreme being". Why is it that you feel the need to question and mock others for their beliefs? why does it matter to you if someone has faith in something you find to be unfathomable and illogical? Are you not secure enough in your own findings? Are you all on a mission to convert everyone to your own religion of atheism?(which really has become a religion the way you all chastise everyone who doesn't agree with your narrow outlook on life.) Why is it that you've mistakenly placed yourself in the role of authority when it comes to what is reality and what is fantasy? Sure science has come a long way, but it hasn't come far enough to explain our very existence. The Progress of science itself is depended on the reconstruction of old theories based on newly obtained information. The Big Bang theory doesn't fallow that principle, simply because its hypotheses are purely non scientific. These blind hypotheses about how matter came into existence in the first place were founded on the most common seudo-scientific formula for explaining the unexplainable: Its called "hey, it could have happened this way so lets just say it did." Anyways, I'm sure that that's more than enough logic for you to take all in one sitting so lets look at this from a social standpoint: "ooooo wow you're an edgy anti-Jesus freak, lets go piss on the the ignorantly blissful people with all their shameful morals and pitiful standards of decency." I don't know if you've even given it much thought, Sugar tits, but you gotta see that intolerance isn't the answer. I don't care for this culture you have, It really isn't all that interesting to be quite honesty with you. I almost feel like this whole attitude is coming from jealousy of those who feel spiritually connected. (Your attitude, mind you, not your beliefs) I just have one real key point here though. This is the point I'd like to make: WHO GIVES A FUCK WHETHER OR NOT THERE'S A GOD? GET OVER IT, GET OVER YOURSELF, MOVE ON AND FIND A MORE CONSTRUCTIVE HOBBY.

Observations, Rants, and Playing Catch-Up

I've been lax in my blogging. I have. It's not for lack of wanting to blog because I'd get ideas or vents I wanted to post and then something would happen and I would either forget or end-up having to give the dog yet another bath because Dante decided to go Jackson Pollock on her fur. A big shout out to Crayola Washable Markers, because yes, they are. Even on dog fur. I'd also forget to blog because it would be 3 am and I would have the urge to come type, but then I'd fall asleep the moment I logged in. You see, it's hard to find blog time when every second of the day is spent following a little person around who has the talent of finding everything he's not supposed to touch and touch it. The other day he walked into the room where I was folding clothes with this "I have something I'm not supposed to have in my hand" look on his face and the moment I said, "What have you got D", he ran out of the room saying "You can't catch me mommy!". To which I did indeed catch him only to find that he had somehow found a bottle of glitter that we use for arts and crafts time and had decided to sprinkle the rug in his playroom so as to make it look like Liberace had stopped by for a visit. LOVELY. The other day he came over to me as I was packing up the bag for the park and said, "Mommy, I'm all better now, smell." Which in "2 year old code" means, "I've just done something potentially dangerous so don't freak out". Turns out, he had climbed onto the toilet in his bathroom, taken the Baby Vicks cream and rubbed it on his chest. Thankfully he had not eaten any or we'd still be in the hospital, he for poison ingestion and me for a nervous breakdown.

But I'm not complaining. Dante is a great kid, despite the tantrums, the constant use of "no" as an answer to everything, and the infinite numbers of times he says , "but whyyyyyy" to me when I tell him something.
"Dante, please go put your shoes away", I say.
"But whyyyyyyyy", he replies.
"Because we don't leave our shoes all over the house."
"But why mommy we no hab shoo all ober how?"
"Because they're stinky"
"But why dey sticky?"
"Because you have smelly feet Dante now go put them away"
"But why mommy but whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"
"Because I said so, that's why"
"NO!"

That's pretty much my day. Juxtapose "put away your shoes" with "don't hit the dog", "get your hands out of the garbage", "don't pick up that ant", "please do not throw cheese on the wall", "do you have to go peepee in the potty", and our favorite, "Dante, please stop playing with your penis". I had really nice thick hair before I had a child. My hair now falls out in clumps and looks like straw. I also get zits now. I never used to get zits. Hm. I'm pretty sure there's a connection.

Moving on. THANK THE FRICKING UNIVERSE BARACK OBAMA WON THE ELECTION. Seriously, I was getting very nervous there in the end. I kept having visions of a McCain/Palin administration and the Margaret Atwood book, "The Handmaid's Tale" all coming together as one and I was seriously considering moving my family to New Zealand. I could not believe this election. The campaign that the Republican party ran was one of the ugliest, ignorant, smear-filled ones I have ever seen. It wasn't about issues, it wasn't about policy, it was about a man who was not white running for President and all the talking heads can vehemently deny it, but that's what it was about. Had Barack Obama been blond and blue eyed, from a benign state like Vermont, and had his name been Michael Thomas Smith, I can guarantee you that the race to the White House would have been much, much different. I was so sick and tired of seeing Sarah Palin's face on television. I was so sick and tired of seeing all the YouTube videos of racist, assfucks at these rallies carrying "Obama Monkey" dolls and screaming "socialist" and "kill the n****er". I saw a woman refusing to pass out Halloween candy to children whose parents were voting for Obama; a man "lynching" an Obama effigy from a tree and claiming it was "free speech" and America was a "white Christian nation that should only be led by white Christians"; and I saw more ignorance, hatred, and filth that I would care to see in my lifetime. How happy I was to wake up Wednesday and know that all these backwoods fucks had to eat shit.

Yet unfortunately, it is still continuing; this racist, intolerant bigotry against Obama supporters. You would think that those against him would shut the fuck up now, crawl back to their bunkers and snuggle up to their swastika flags but no, now we've got priests refusing to grant communion to parishioners who voted for Obama, and pastors throwing people out of church for having Obama stickers on their car. Seriously? Really? They claim that they are doing this because of Obama's stance on abortion (B is exceedingly pro-choice) and say that no good Catholic would have voted for Obama and therefore these parishioners are not welcome. Really? Hm. Well, there is a HUGE group in the US called Catholics for Choice. Father Douchebag and his friend Reverend Asslick should look into it. I may be a "crazy atheist" but I vividly remember a passage in the bible that reads "God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him" (John 4:16). Hm. Where does, "if you don't agree with my politics, even though I am a servant of the church and cannot endorse a political candidate, I can kick you out for voting against something I don't agree with" occur in the bible? Is it in Ezekiel? Deuteronomy? Psalms? Maybe it's in the NEW New Testament, the one alloted only to certain asshats and idiots?

Moving on again. Life on Mars. I've been watching this show on ABC every week since it began. It is taken from the BBC show of the same name but I've never seen it so I don't know how true it sticks to its original counterpart. Long story short, the plot centers around a NYC cop in 2008 who gets hit by a car and ends up in NYC in 1973. The whole show is him trying to "get back" to 2008. You get hints that he's in a coma in 2008 and that his life in 1973 may be his subconscious working overtime, but so far it has been a good show. Michael Imperioli, a.k.a. Christopher Moltisanti from The Sopranos is on it, and he's great. It's also stars Harvey Keitel and is filmed in the retro-sepia-style film. I feel like I'm watching Starsky and Hutch sometimes. Anyhow, I was loving this show; part sci-fi, part cop drama, it was engaging. And then they had to go screw it all up by making it all about prayer and god and jesus. Seriously. I was banging my head on the table at last week's episode. The story was centered around the "killing" of a little girl. Her supposed killer sought sanctuary in a neighborhood church and our future cop, while interrogating the priest, reveals that he's doesn't believe in "your god" (while speaking to the priest) and that he has no interest in "praying for the soul of the little girl". Here I am all excited that there's finally an atheist character on TV who isn't in a Seth McFarlane cartoon or on WifeSwap. Yet my elation doesn't last long as the whole show turns into this "I need to find god again so I can come out of my coma and get back to 2008" bullcrap. The end of the episode has our hero PRAYING at his bedside. So, in a nutshell, fuck you Life on Mars. Go choke on a bible.

What else? Still no bun in the oven. Well there was a bun in the oven but I lost it last month. Yes, sad. Yes, frustrating. Yes, discouraging. But it just means we get to keep trying. It's so strange how I spent most of my youth trying not to get pregnant and now when I do want to get knocked-up, it's become this complicated and difficult process. I never thought I'd say I was getting sick of having sex, but, I'm sick of having sex. Now it's more like, "Hey honey come over here and stick it in for a second before D wakes up from nap". My poor Randy is all trying to be romantic and sexy and I'm just like, "Ok dude, just back and forth, in and out, and let your boys go swimming, I've got to fold some laundry". Pretty raunchy eh? Fingers crossed that one of these days I'll write with some good news.

I think that sums up most of the stuff I wanted to vent about. Oh no, wait. One more thing. It's quick because I don't have that much info. There's a new remake coming out. Now, you all know how I feel about remakes, (see The Curse of the Remake for a gauge) so you won't be surprised to hear of my absolute disgust in discovering that there is a remake slated for 2010 of the 1979 classic film Meatballs. Yes, I said it. Some asswipe is remaking Meatballs. On that note, I will leave you with my son's two favorite words which, I believe, express my feelings perfectly upon hearing this news:

BUT WHY?

Pretty Cut and Dry Here

Dale McGowan, editor of the incredible book, Parenting Beyond Belief and blogger of The Meming of Life suggested this "Belief-o-matic" quiz to gauge where you stand in the whole religion thang. I think mine is pretty much cut and dry.


1. Nontheist (100%)
2.Secular Humanism (100%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (86%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (65%)
5. Liberal Quakers (49%)
6. Neo-Pagan (29%)
7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (26%)
8. Taoism (16%)
9. New Age (8%)
10. Bahá'í Faith (0%)
11. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (0%)
12. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (0%)
13. Eastern Orthodox (0%)
14. Hinduism (0%)
15. Islam (0%)
16. Jainism (0%)
17. Jehovah's Witness (0%)
18. Mahayana Buddhism (0%)
19. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (0%)
20. New Thought (0%)
21. Orthodox Judaism (0%)
22. Orthodox Quaker (0%)
23. Reform Judaism (0%)
24. Roman Catholic (0%)
25. Scientology (0%)
26. Seventh Day Adventist (0%)
27. Sikhism (0%)