Video Killed......No One

Hi.

My name is Alessia.

And I play violent video games.

Now according to recent pundits and talking heads, that statement alone should have you running away from me screaming in terror and ducking for cover.  According to these same pundits and talking heads, the statement above also relegates me to being an insane, mentally unstable person, who loves guns and killing children. 

Let me just start off by saying that I hate guns. I'm terrified of them, which I think is the ACTUAL point of a gun.  It can end your life in a fraction of a second. And I'm pretty happy being that whole "alive" thing, so I make it a point to stay as far away from real guns as possible.  (Much to my husband's dismay). 

Notice I said "real guns".

Now on the flip side, you get me the BFG 9000 (that stands for Big Fucking Gun in the DOOM video game series) and I will gladly blast everything that has a pulse within 100 feet of me.  Yes, even cute puppies and kitties.

Why, you say?  BECAUSE IT"S NOT FUCKING REAL. That's why.

I am so fracking tired of the folks that come out after a tragedy such as Newton or Aurora and blame the "violent video game industry" for these horrific acts.  Video games are not the cause. Mental illness is the cause.  People who can't discern reality from fantasy are mentally ill, they don't become mass murders because they mastered the eviscerating finishing moves in Mortal Kombat.  (Oh, and FYI, I've played MK since its inception in 1992 and NEVER ONCE have I ripped anyone's spine out, launched harpoons from my face, or turned anyone into ice only to smash them to bits and disintegrate them.)  A mentally ill person will discern violence from anything.  Wasn't it David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam killer, who claimed his neighbor's German Shepherd was talking to him and giving him orders to kill?  Did anyone blame Pong for his violent crimes?  Was slapping a 16 bit ball across a screen the cause for his wrath?  Was Pong even invented when the Son of Sam was shooting people at random?  (Let me check: YES! Pong was developed in 1972, Berkowitz acted out in 1977). So there!  Did anyone blame the violent video game Pong for the Son of Sam's crimes?!?!

No.  They blamed his mental illness. 

Are we getting dumber or more paranoid?  Why can't people acknowledge that crazy people exist and need help, rather than try to point the finger at what they think is the cause.  In the 80's it was heavy metal that was blamed.  Remember when Judas Priest was on trial because some idiot kids decided to commit suicide and one of them "missed" and ended up blowing half his face off and surviving?  Yes, it was totally Judas Priest's fault for creating such eeeevil hits like "Turbo Lover" and "Hell Bent for Leather".  Hell, if anything, the gay undertones should have made anyone want to strap on some boots and a corset and find the nearest fetish party, but no Cletus shoots his face off and Judas Priest is blamed. 

 

 

What about the Dungeons and Dragons scare that had parents confiscating 20-sided dice and pewter wizards from the hands of their innocent children for fear that "witchcraft and wizardry" would lead them to "teh devilz" and suicide? 

The fact of the matter is, I come from a generation that grew up with video games. As a child, I held the Atari 2600 and the Colecovision in my little hands and jumped over crocodiles, swung from vines, and dodged cobras in Pitfall. I jumped barrels and avoided fireballs all in the hopes of saving the princess from a fierce gorilla in Donkey Kong.  I strutted about as I defeated Zaxxon, and helped save the world from evil terrorists (with my brother, of course) as freedom fighting Contras.  And naturally, I've evolved as my game systems evolved.  I went on quests for Zelda, I fought vampires and Dracula in the far off land of Castlevania, and I landed on the planet Zebes and defeated the Queen Metroid. 

And then, I got my first taste of blood. Zombie blood, that is, when I first visited Raccoon City and stocked up on ammo, honing my talent for the "head-shot" and making sure I was always within an arm's length from danger.  War games ensued (though I don't much care for them because I suck at first-person shooters), followed by hand-to-hand combat with worthy opponents who would dismember me (or I them) at the drop of a hat (or command by Shang Tsung).



On and on, the list is endless of the games I have played and creatures I have killed.  Whether human, alien, robot, ghost, undead, vampire, zombie, dog, cat, monster, or any other living creature, I have killed it.  Sometimes, the kills are clean and simple. Other times, brutal and gory.  Sometimes, I've kicked people off of cliffs, beaten them to death with a baseball bat, run over them in my Camaro, or stolen their money and fled the police.  I executed a hit for a Mob Boss once and then beat up a hooker just because I felt like it.  One time, I even killed my partner.

Sounds terrible doesn't it?  I'm a violent person, aren't I?  I'm sick in the head, right?

Not quite. 

You see, there's something sane people know and understand that mentally ill people don't.  Reality is not fantasy and vice versa.  I would NEVER in a million years do any of the things in video games in the real world because DUH how stupid do you have to be?  Ok Ok Ok, I admit, that if the zombie apocalypse were to visit my actual front door, I would shoot them in the head, but that's just a big "if" and not likely to happen (famous last words, right?)

And yes, I will fully concede that sometimes people use violent video games as an excuse for their behavior. Case in point, the Black Hawk pilots who used civilians as target practice and who could be heard on their coms laughing and joking about how it was just like "Call of Duty" and "Medal of Honor".  I would post the video here, but it really is too disturbing. Google it. You'll see.  Even in this case, I don't blame violent video games for their behavior.  They're soldiers in a war.  You can't tell me that a mental break is out of the questions. And in no way am I excusing their behavior of claiming they were insane, but psych evals of our soldiers need to be improved as well as the length of their tours and re-ups, but that's a whole other blog post all together.

So what have I been trying to express in this disjointed blog?  Basically, to the talking heads and pundits, quit placing blame where it isn't merited.  Violent video games are not the reason why people shoot up schools and movie theaters. A failed mental health system is.  A failure to diagnose, to care for, and to keep caring for people who have severe mental issues is to blame.  Not Duck Hunt, or Mario Kart, or Final Fantasy, or Resident Evil.  If that were true a HUGE part of Gen X'ers would be rampaging killing machines.  Instead, we're 30-something year old moms and dads who revel in the 30 minutes they get after bedtime to hold that Xbox/Playstation/Wii controller and save the world.

The God Who Wasn't There.....

*Warning: This is going to be a rant. It's probably not going to be cohesive or grammatically correct. It's probably going to be offensive and have a lot of curse words.  I realize that my posts are few and far between lately, and with the holidays approaching they should be more lighthearted and focused on the kids, but I'm mad as hell right now and I'm about to let loose. So. You've been warned.*


I don't know how anyone can call themselves an intelligent human being and believe in any god.  There, I said it.  I know I have friends who are religious. I know that they are intelligent. But I think that when it comes to the whole "god" thing, their brain is being affected by something that's making them stupid. 

Obviously my comments are stemming from the recent tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, where the lives of 26 people (20 OF THE CHILDREN) were cut short by a mentally ill person with guns. 

I keep seeing posts of "angels being called home" and "god is hugging those babies now" or "prayers for the family".  Seriously?  Shut the fuck up.  Shut up with that idiotic, pedantic, bullshit.  There are no "angels", there is no "hugging" and what the fuck is praying going to do now?  You think maybe if this Great and Powerful Oz, oops I mean, God, DID exist that he could have PREVENTED this disgusting event from happening?  Maybe jam a gun?  Maybe stall the car the shooter was driving?  Better yet, maybe NOT let the shooter be mentally ill with access to an arsenal of weapons?  But no, for some reason, the religious will rationalize that "Satan" was at work.  Really?  Well then this would logically mean that "God" is weaker than "Satan".  Or that they're working together?  Or that they're one in the same.  Or better yet, THEY"RE BOTH NOT FUCKING REAL! 

How come "God" is always there when Bubba wins the lottery or when Cletus wins on the Price is Right, but strangely absent say, when a fucking psycho shoots up a school? When children are hacked to pieces with machetes for "being witches"?  When terrorists fly planes into buildings? Oh wait, "God" WAS there on September 11th, except his name was "Allah" and he was granting the wishes of Mohammed Atta, Osama Bin Laden, and the other 12 terrorists. 

Don't even get me started on the fucking asshats who are blaming this tragedy on the fact that "God" was "removed from school".  Again, shut the fuck up.  Shut your idiotic piece of shit mouth.  You're in the same group of assholes that is now going to blame "teh gayz" for this tragedy.  You're a Westboro Baptist fuckface without the sign. 

And now I'm reading all these news pieces about church vigils and prayer rallies.  Really?  FUCKING REALLY?!?!  You're going to go to CHURCH and pray to your little sky friend, AFTER he allowed this thing to happen.  You're going to subjugate yourself to this (and I'm speaking as though "god" were real) misogynistic, baby killing, genocidal, slave endorsing, egomaniac, who gets his rocks off on killing kids (for the Bible tells me so!) and then you're going to look to "him" for answers.  Are you fucking mental?!?!?!

So let's approach it from this angle.  Either "God" is real or he isn't.  Simple.  BUT!  If he is real, then one must concede that he allows murder, rape, disease, cruelty, injustice, and all these horrible things.  If he doesn't exist (the more reasonable option), then one can be satisfied in the knowledge that LIFE is unfair, that human beings can really be horrible to each other, and that this fraction of a second we have on this planet is fleeting, unstable, but also worth a million trillion zillion lifetimes.

"But Alessia, God gave us free will! He can't step in!".  Oh really?  So he can't step in when children are being murdered, but he CAN step in when you get a promotion at work?  He can't step in when a woman is being raped but CAN step in when Extreme Makeover renovates your house?  And speaking of the woman being raped, WHOSE "free will" is being exercised here?  The rapist?

Oh and I LOVE the idiots on the message boards blaming atheists for this tragedy.  According to one genius on HuffPo, responding to my comment about being confused as to why people flock to church, I have no capacity for love and compassion and I have no concept of helping others because I don't go to church.  Yep, absolutely right (eye roll). I *totally* need to go to church to know what love and compassion are. That love and compassion sure overflows for gays and lesbians, for nontheists, and the like. Going to church to learn about love and compassion is like going to a fucking steakhouse for a vegan meal.

In the days following this tragedy we are going to face a barrage of images of fresh-faced children whose lives ended violently and tragically.  We are going to see images of distraught parents whose own lives, in a sense, ended yesterday.  And I'm going to have to listen to the same bullshit over and over again about "god bless them" and "prayers for them".  I'm going to have to have some asshole of a parent in an interview on TV claim that "by the grace of god", THEIR CHILD SURVIVED.  That, by far, is the most disgusting thing anyone can say.  "God" saved your kid but not the others. How nice for you, you smug piece of shit.  What kind of bullshit self-rationalization is that?  Your kid lived because "god" loved him more?  Because you prayed harder?  Because that kid talked back to his mom?


I was sobbing yesterday but today I am mad as hell.  I'm pissed that a mentally ill person had access to weapons. I'm pissed that this person thought it necessary to kill anyone.  Just kill yourself and be done with it, why take out a school?  I am mad as hell that people look to the sky for answers instead of focusing on REAL solutions to REAL problems.  The mental health system failed this man.  It failed and continues to fail on so many levels.  We have soldiers who fight for this country coming home and murder-suiciding their entire families because they're not getting the care they deserve.  We have disgruntled workers shooting up malls because they got laid off.

Let's ignore all that and pray for answers.  Yes, let's just do that.

Happy Holidays from Musings from the Crypt!

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Huggie Bear

You don't have to tell me we are a weird family.  I mean, when I asked Dante if I should decorate the house for Halloween, he looked around, and softly stated, "But mom, isn't the house already decorated for Halloween?"  That was a proud moment for this old goth mom, and I'm sure that when people visit, they tend to think "Is something going to jump out at me and kill me?" or "Do I have to pay admission to this place?".

But in all the ways that we are weird, I never thought that we were strange when it came to affection, both giving and receiving.  We're huggers and kissers and touchers and squeezers.  Randy and I are very affectionate toward each other and toward the children. The kids are hugged and kissed at least 7 million times a day, give or take .5. 

Apparently, this is not the "norm" in most families as evidenced today by sadly my poor son's humiliation.  Twice.

We went to his school's book fair.  As we were entering, Dante saw one of his classmates, a boy.  Dante was so excited to see him, he ran up to him and gave him a big hug.  The kid, first of all, didn't move a muscle, and acted as though a Dementor was flying in his face.  Stone faced and even shocked looking, the kid barely managed a "hello" before his mom (who didn't even acknowledge me or my mom) started pulling him away as though Dante had the plague.  Poor Dante didn't understand why 1. his friend didn't hug him back, and 2. why his friend acted scared.  I brushed it off, chalking it up to shyness and asshattery (yes first graders can be asshats) and we went inside.

And then it happened again.  Dante saw another classmate, a girl, and he again in his excitement of seeing her, hugged her.  This time, the little girl FLINCHED like Dante was going to pull a Chris Brown on her and as she PUSHED Dante off her she said, "Don't ever hug me in public again". The look on my son's face was horrible.  He was mortified.  I wanted to dig a hole for him to jump into.

O.o

O rly?

Her mother, visibly embarassed (thankfully so) made her come over to Dante and give him a high-five as a sort of apology and then explained that "she's not used to hugs".  Um.......NOT USED TO HUGS?  What planet am I living on when a first grader, no fuck it, when ANYONE is not used to hugs, let alone a little kid?

So sadly, I had to explain to Dante that not every family was like ours and from now on, when he saw a friend, to not run up and hug them and to just wave and say hello.  If they wanted to hug, let them come to him first.

What a horrible conversation. I am so sorry I had to have it.

So next time, if you see Dante, give him a big hug.